So Gwynnie's going to do some detoxing. Since she's clearly not being shunned for her appearance or losing roles to skinnier celebs, one must ask why a woman who has been so outspoken about her commitment to healthy eating and fitness is choosing to drink down her weight even more. According to Ms. Paltrow's own blog, it's for the same reason some of (ahem) us have resorted to a wardrobe of yoga pants in the New Year: Getting chubbers over Christmas.
"It is that time of year, folks. I need to lose a few pounds of holiday excess," Gwyneth wrote. And before we even go into what her cleanse of choice is, let's remind ourselves that what is considered "excess" weight to a size-0 stressed celebrity is far different than the point at which most other women in the planet call in a diet intervention. And when I say different, I mean eight to twelve pound-size bags of organic chocolate-dipped whole grain pretzels. Call me cynical, but I have an idea Gwyneth racked up whatever she deems to be excess by saying "to heck with it" and ordering a few extra lemon slices in her Fiuggi mineral water. Or maybe sharing a macrobiotic biscotti with Madonna at playgroup. Whatever. I'm just ringing the reminder bell that this world, these standards (and for God's sake, these party snacks) are far different than most of our own.
Back to the detoxing. So Gwyneth was feeling a bit blergh-y and decided it was time to do one of the fasts she says she does several times a year. After a tough go of the Master Cleanse last spring, the detox celebs love to tout surviving and every person I know who has tried it has canned after three miserable days (get a good taste of the reality of Master Cleansing in Los Angeles in this funny article), Gwyneth turned to her own doctor to come up with a plan that might not be be so hard to get through or on her liver and the rest of her waif-like body.
Instead, she came up with a liquid meal plan herself that is meant to give the old digestive track a break and "kickstart [her] year feeling a bit lighter." In fact, good old Gwynnie's even offered to suffer along with you in the process if you want to give the shakes and juices a try, too (awww).
Before we all toss the red and green M&Ms we've been gorging on for three weeks for a slew of actress-recommended "elimination diet" drinks, let's get some more information. I am curious how much Gwyneth Paltrow has in her digestive tract to clear out anyway (no, it's none of my business, but it does go to that whole "different standards" point, right?). I also wonder if this whole cleanse she came up with could be better timed with her fitness DVD that's due out probably as soon as she's done peeing cayenne pepper and all those unsightly pounds. Finally, should we be taking nutritional advise from a celebrity, simply because they are crazy-skinny, have tons of second-hand information on wellness from the slew of specialists they have on staff, and because...well, they say so?
I don't care if Gwyneth Paltrow desires to be in better health to start off the New Year. And as someone who has successfully suffered through a cleanse that lasted a gajillion years, I can't even judge her for doing the detox thing. But what I worry about is how many women see her body, want her body and will do her brand of fast just to try to get to that place too. Not only are detoxes tough, getting that kind of body is nearly impossible. I love that she's honest, especially about post-partum depression and trying to keep her macrobiotic eating plan realistic (cough*wine*cough). But is it good for us to know this much, to hear all this stuff?
Gwynnie, my fasting friend, if you're going to do all that, is it OK just to keep it between you and Madge and maybe the table of folks gathered for the monthly Coldplay family potluck? Maybe then we can all go back to loving you in movies and for being a mama, not for what you're not putting in your mouth.
Can get enough Gwyneth? Read on:
- Dear Ms. Paltrow's personal trainer...
- Why she loves her some Obama
- Blasted! We love her and curse her! She even looks glowy without make-up