From "Pregorexia" to Pregnancy Weight Guidelines: Let's Talk About What Women Really Need

mjaigbe: I hope you're kidding. I'm writing an article on this same topic for newspaper, and I just got off the phone with an OB/GYN who said that women who don't gain enough weight during pregnancy can have underweight babies, which is VERY dangerous. It's not just about you, it's about the life inside of you. Whatever you do will directly affect your baby. He recommends eating frequent small meals if you don't have much of an appetite. Judging by your comment about eating only once a day I can assume you're not already obese. So don't stress about become obese while you're pregnant. If people ask about your weight gain, tell them you're pregnant. They won't see you as "fat." And in the mean time, eat healthy foods and exercise. "Starving for two" as you call it is going to hurt BOTH of you.

Realitygirl, I am in the same exact position and thought process... My husband I too want to start trying in the next 6 months or so and I too have trouble maintaining a healthy weight, so I have been trying really hard to get into my healthy weight range and maintain a healthy diet BEFORE I start having children and BEFORE I need to gain the weight so I can have a healthy child.

OMG--some of these comments are very eye opening...I am due in October and have lost a total of 9 pounds...I eat everything I see and smell...I do not EXCERCISE...my stomach is HUGE just the rest of my body doesn't seem to agree with pregnancy...I am currently seeing a dietician to try and gain at least 5-10pounds for my total pregnancy...it is not safe to starve yourself for many reasons and especially since you are pregnant...I pray every night that GOD gives me a healthy child whether I gain the weight or not...great article thanks....

We address this very issue in our new book
http://www.amazon.com/Hands-Off-My-Belly-Pregnant/dp/1591027535/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1244391237&sr=8-1

I'm currently 8 months pregnant. I had a slightly poor body image before I got pregnant, but it has never made me want to starve myself while pregnant. I want my son as healthy as can be, no matter the cost to my body. I just do what my doctor's tell me.. I eat one big meal a day, then a few little ones when I get hungry, and it's working out great for me.

Mjaigbe: Self- dicipline? That is the most irresponsible thing I have heard! I can appreciate being aware of what you eat and maintaining some exercise to have a healthy pregnancy but only eating once a day is extremely unhealthy for you and your baby. Not to mention selfish on your part. Please think of your child and take good care of the both of you!

Wow. I am astounded by how pathetically shallow and selfish our society has become.

Wow these shallow snotty little brats with no concept of reality or any sort of decency. This is our Youth. They would rather pass up the miracle of motherhood than risk any damage to their young bodies(that I am sure have flaws but we wont mention those)last laughs on you! Your going to get OLD LOL have fun with that nutcases! Maybe you will miss out on being a mother you dont deserve to have a gentle spirit in your care anyway.

I think this is a sign that Western culture will not last much longer. We have become so vain and shallow that we do not even want to reproduce anymore.

No other culture in the world has such a warped view of pregnancy. To other cultures, pregnant women are sacred and beautiful ladies who are proudly carrying the next generation. In our culture, being pregnant has become something shameful, something you must get over with and erase all signs of it as soon as possible.

How pitiful.

I second Holly J. I'm way too neurotic about my weight to get pregnant, and if I ever do finally go insane and decide that I want kids, I will just adopt. Having a baby changes your body so much. It's scary. I know a girl who had a baby recently, and she tore from her V to her A, and now she'll be incontinent for the rest of her life. Ofcourse, even if you do manage to give birth without complications, there's still the stretch marks, huge dark nipples, and mounds of stubborn baby fat to worry about.

No, I'm way to vain for all that. I'd rather be child-free and good looking than a fat mommy.

I am pregnant with my first and I have always been under weight. Heck! I was off the BMI chart for the longest time. I am concerned about my weight but it is not how much I gain or loose after the baby is born. It is how much I gain or loose now. I am due in October and I want to make sure that when my baby is born, HE has a good weight. I have been 90 lbs before. I don't mind being that again if it means my son will be healthy. Since my mitabalism was high before I got pregnant, it has gone up since I have been pregnant. It is hard for me to gain and keep pounds. I weight myself this morning and I am at 125.2. For me that is way over what I weight before I got pregnant which is 112. My goal is to weigh 140 when my son is born. I got around 15 more pounds to go. I suggest to anyone who is worried about their weight after they have their children to think about how much you weigh now and think about how much you need to weigh for your child. That is what is important.

It just shocks me that women would starve themselves during pregnancy. I gained 35 lbs with my first, lost all but ten when I got pregnant with my second. My pregnancies didn't make me overweight. The stress from my divorce did. And yes, I have stretch marks and boobs that don't sit where they used to, but I have two beautiful children. Two kids that I would die for. So I will gladly accept my size 14 pants and saggy stretch marked tummy because it means that I have the honor of raising my children.

I'm not sure why weight means so much to some people. I'm 5'9, 165 lbs not pregnant and a former collegiate athlete (as of a year ago). I'm barely on the top end of the BMI scale but my body fat percentage is great. I don't even own a scale at home because it shouldn't become an obsession. I gained NO weight for the first 5 months of my pregnancy and only added my 300 extra calories, but made healthy food choices (and some not so healthy ones..lets be honest 10:00pm hot dog runs.. ;) ) A few days after I hit 5 months, I ballooned out, finally started showing and at 29 weeks I'm up to about 45 lbs weight gained. But I have a very healthy baby who is constantly moving, pass all my blood work and can still do moderate exercise.
Not everyone is going to gain weight within the guidelines doctors expect -- just as you aren't going to be the same as everyone else who isn't pregnant.
Bottom line is it isn't about you anymore. I have stretch marks on my chest and can't paint my own toenails, but I LOVE being pregnant because of what's inside. If you don't want to be pregnant because of weight gain, great -- atleast you can admit it. But don't be selfish and keep nourishments from your baby because you're worried your skinny jeans wont fit anymore.

Jables, I didn't get a single stretch mark until my 3rd pregnancy and ever then they were just a few and 6 years later are barely noticeable. I breast fed all my babies, my 4th until she was 2 and I do not have "huge dark nipples" or saggy boobs. I never had mounds of baby fat to worry about either after the first few months postpartum. The extra 15 I'm carrying now I put on after a miscarriage 2 years ago.

That is so sad but true. I had a couple of friends that werent
going to have children because they didnt want to ruin their
figures. What a load of crap. I have 2 children, and started
with a weight of 116 before each and at 56 and 5'8" now weigh
118. I have always had a very healthy diet and did so thru
both pregnancies. I wasnt any more hunry than usual. Taking
good care of yourself should be important no matter what.

Well that's what happens when you're pregnant. That lady who "starved for two" could probably kill her own kid.

overweight is not a problem. I appreciate the beauty in both men women and explore my bi/3some fun on **bichatting** dot com often.

If you have body image issues and weight issues before you have a baby, then MAYBE you should NOT HAVE ONE!

Wow, I had no clue women were so focused on gaining weight in pregnancy that they would actually under eat. Very good points are made in this article and in the comments. There seems to be a trend that women want their bodies to look the same as pre-baby. Well, generally, they will not. Whether it is stretch marks, saggy skin, a change in the shape of the breasts, and a change in the shape of their figure...these are part of maturing as a woman. Celebrities, through the media, have given an impression that all "looks easy" to get back to the pre-body image. However, most will say that they worked hours with personal trainers, personal chefs and (some cosmetic enhancement) to attain this look.
Pregnancy is a unique experience, there are enough worries about the child growing inside of you to add on the worry of getting back to a pre-baby image. In reality...once the child is born....generally there is much more thought on the baby versus the "self". A woman needs her health more than anything to maintain the level of energy required to raise the child and the demanding tasks ahead.

I agree with Holly J and Jables, and I resent the rest of you calling us shallow because we recognize our shortcomings. I have struggled with an eating disorder since my teens, and I know I wouldn't be able to handle pregnancy and what it would do to my body, so I'm not having kids.

How is it shallow to RECOGNIZE what you can and can't handle and then act accordingly?