by Sharon Melnick for Success Television
Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays probably mean get togethers with your family (or 
imagepotentially even more loaded: with those of your spouse!) While there are many comforts and joy in spending time with your extended family, for some it can mean you have to interact with people who control, frustrate, criticize, or burden you.
There are so many other stresses you are likely facing this year so use the following tips to make your family interactions go smoothly so you can take 'family conflict' off your list.
1) Be impeccable for your 50%
You will be very tempted to focus on how other people are doing things wrong and how frustrated you are at how they are doing things. As long as you focus on what they are doing, you will continue to feel stressed by your lack of control.
Here's your new mantra: Be impeccable for your 50%. This means, focus on your part of the interaction. Articulate the qualities and attributes of who you want to be as a person and family member and put your time, energy, and attention into making sure you are acting like that person (no matter what others are doing). I'm not advising this to give others with bad behavior a free pass - rather I say it because it empowers you to control the most that you can control in the situation and gives you a leg up on influencing others to get what you want.
Here are some tips:
- Review your communication to make sure it is clear and respectful, this will give you a better chance of influencing others.
- Think through to know exactly what you want from the situation so you can ask for it.
- Take the time to see it from their point of view so you can empathize with what they are feeling, make them feel understood, and phrase your requests to them in terms that motivate them.
- Clean up your own backyard and make sure that you can't be accused of the 'pot calling the kettle black' (nor of repeating your patterns ). This way you have more credibility and power when requesting others to act differently.
- Focus effectively on nurturing yourself and initiating meaningful connections that will bring fulfillment in your current life.
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