An interesting thing happened when I appeared on Martha Stewart last week to talk about obesity and nutrition. During the opening of the show, Martha invited the other guests to pose any health questions they had to me, encouraging Saturday Night Live's Kenan Thompson to do so by noting, on national TV, "You're overweight, aren't you?"
How Mr. Thompson actually felt about this question, and being "outed" on national television, I can't say. He handled it as one would expect from an improvisational comedian-by improvising and being funny. But I have seen some public outrage on Mr. Thompson's behalf. A number of bloggers have expressed the equivalent of a wince at Martha's blunt characterization.
So, was Martha's comment indiscrete?
Kenan Thompson almost certainly knows he's overweight (he is). And, since our weight-unlike our cholesterol, or blood pressure, or glucose level-manifests itself quite visibly, Kenan doubtless knew that Martha knew that Kenan was overweight. And Martha likely knew that Kenan knew that she knew, so she wasn't really worried about violating a trade secret by saying so.
But we are nonetheless uncomfortable talking about weight, and the comment did evoke a wince from some. We need to account for that.
For one thing, our mothers told us to say nothing at all when we have nothing nice to say. Presumably, saying that someone is overweight is not especially nice, so it might be covered by this universal maternal dictum. For another, standards of discretion often prevent us from commenting on what might be characterized as a visible, physical burden. We would not generally say, for instance, "you walk with a limp, don't you?" We would not generally comment on a missing digit or limb, or a speech impediment. But is obesity like any of these?
We would, however, routinely comment on a cast or bandage, generally by asking "what happened to you?" Visible injuries are clearly OK to talk about. There are physical attributes that are also OK to talk about because they are either positive, or at worst neutral. This list would include eye color, hair color, and within a certain range, height. Height outside of the range becomes something else we would tend not to mention. Weight, it seems, is not at all like eye color.
We could generate much longer lists of both mentionable and unmentionable physical characteristics, but this will suffice to show there is some prevailing, societal notion as to what belongs on which list. Weight is generally on the list of unmentionables, unless it is changing in a desired direction, in which case it very definitely crosses over. "You've lost weight, haven't you?" is not merely acceptable, but seemingly encouraged.
By scanning the items on both lists and looking for common themes, I believe we might better blend overweight with understanding.
Here are a few of the perceptions that seemingly land something on the list of unmentionables: it can't be fixed; it's your own fault; it's embarrassing or shameful; I can't, or won't, help you but just want to call you out. Is this, then, the prevailing view of obesity? If so, it's completely wrong.
Obesity, at the individual and societal level, can indeed be fixed-and prevented. Doing so may be hard, but it isn't complicated, and it's certainly possible. Obesity is not the fault of individuals born into an overwhelmingly, and uniquely, "obesigenic" environment. Gaining weight along with much of the world's population is neither shameful nor embarrassing-it is simply, it seems, what Homo sapiens tend to do when they transition abruptly from a world in which calories are scarce and physical activity unavoidable, to a world in which physical activity is scarce and calories unavoidable.
And why shouldn't we all help one another overcome this problem? Why shouldn't we all join in one another's efforts to eat well and be active? We recently heard reports from the CDC that the relentless rise in overweight and obesity rates in the U.S. may have plateaued, but if so, at well over 2/3 of all adults and nearly 1/3 of children. Unless you hang with an unusual crowd, it is highly likely that the majority of people you know are overweight.
Pretending obesity is a secret we can keep from ourselves and one another won't help solve the problem. Neither will talking about it if we don't do so with understanding, compassion, and a shared sense of purpose.
We must unweight the stigma of obesity. The pounds will then more readily follow.
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