Stuart McClymont/The Image BankBy Ragen Chastain
I don't know a single fat woman who hasn't been told that she needs to lose weight because, as Rebecca's grandmother told her, otherwise "no man will ever love you." Setting aside the heterosexism of assuming that your fat daughter wants a man, it is a little alarming that we tell children, who are sometimes barely old enough to understand what love and sex are, that nobody will ever want them. Doesn't anybody realize the irreparable damage it could cause…or how false that statement even is?
Rebecca Jane Weinstein sets it straight with her new book, Fat Sex: The Naked Truth. She mentions the apparent urban legend that says fat women are better in bed. I didn't know this previously but as fat urban legends go, I'm not gonna lie, I'm a fan of this one! She also offers the truth -- which is that lots of fat people have lots of great sex. Fat people have sex with partners of all sizes who are able to get past their bigotry of fat bodies (sometimes including their own) and enjoy their supple lovers in all their glory. But getting there is no easy task.
Our culture tells fat people to hate our bodies. Then it tells everyone else that fat bodies are not only hideous but also a sign of laziness and illness. It tells us that fat is the cause of everything bad. You barely see our whole bodies in the media -- we are "headless fatties" that are not only unsexy but dehumanized through the removal of our faces. How are you supposed to have a night of crazy hot sex when you have always been taught to hate one or both of your bodies.
And it's not just fat women who suffer! I know women of all sizes who barely notice the sex they are having because they are so busy trying to suck in their stomachs, hide their thighs and keep their partners' hands off any of their (non-boob) squishy bits.
It doesn't have to be that way.
How much more awesome will the sex be when we can get over our single standard of culturally stereotypical beauty and celebrate the simple fact that bodies of all shapes and sizes are amazing, beautiful and sexy.
Yes, fat people can have sex too. Grrrrrrreat sex! Accept it. Get over it.