Sarah Jio, Glamour magazine
I think we're all watching the news about the alleged Kristen Stewart cheating scandal with our jaws dropped on the floor. I mean, wow. Saying I'm sorry can help fix a stressful situation, but does it boost your health?
By now you've heard the news about Kristen Stewart getting caught kissing the married director Rupert Sanders (and sadly, he has two young children who are one day going to hear about this). Shortly after photos of the two's steamy rendezvous surfaced, Kristen issued a heartfelt apology, and so did Rupert.
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No judging here, because, really, none of us are perfect, right? (Even Oprah issued a big apology recently!) So saying "I'm sorry" is a part of life--one we should embrace, say experts, if we want to feel healthier an be healthier.
Duke University researchers recently studied the effect of apologies and forgiveness and they found that those who forgive see measurable benefits to their immune systems. Which means, if Rob Pattison finds it in his heart to forgive Kristen, he'll see a health boost from it. Kristen? Not sure--but saying I'm sorry does have its own peace-giving qualities. Still, experts like Dr. Gilda Carle, a love and relationship expert, says "I'm sorry" isn't going to do much for Kristen's health and happiness if she's not learning from her mistakes.
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"The mark of young people is experimentation," says Carle. "If someone who is young is in a long term relationship for the length of time that Kristen has been, she must check whether she's getting antsy, feeling that she's missing something. With her 'older,' 'wiser' director boss, she was impressed, flattered, and, as a young girl could be, susceptible to falling prey to his 'direction' and charms. This all translates to her not being ready for a grown-up type of commitment. Now she needs to explore this before she commits herself again. I'm afraid that just apologizing without doing this introspective work will result in the same problems down the road. She needs to be sure about where she wants to go before she tries to take a partner with her."
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I don't know about you, but when I'm wrong and I clear the air, I definitely feel lighter. I may have to deal with the aftermath of my mistake, but at least it's not hanging over my head. A burden is lifted, so to speak. But maybe that's because I've learned something from it?
How about you? Have you ever felt healthier/lighter/happier after saying I'm sorry? How about forgiving someone? Same effect?
P.S. Was Kristen going through a quarter-life crises? The 5 stages to watch for. And, are you in a nutritionally compatible relationship like Alec Baldwin says he is?
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