It seems that despite all my best intentions, all the months of really smart eating and being truly proud of my choices, the last few weeks have been Gorge Fest 2008. Perhaps it's because it's the end of summer, perhaps its because of the up-tick in my dating life (seriously dating is the most fattening activity ever!), perhaps it's a total lack of control, but whatever the reason, I'm eating way too much.
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This is not a manifesto on the joys of dieting; I don't really believe in that. I believe in health first, and feeling good about food--but I'm eating more than makes me comfortable. The rational side of my brain just says stop, but when the majority of your social life revolves around a table, reason doesn't always get to speak up. And at the end of the night, I see myself saying very diet-like things to myself, things that I've worked very hard over the years to never say to myself again.
"Perhaps I should try a fast," was the first thought that popped into my mind this morning. I don't believe in fasts, and I've only fasted once in my life and that was for a religious holiday that required it. One go at that and I decided that if there's a god they would prefer me well-fed and not a cranky monster spewing evil to all those around me. But right now, I don't remember what it's like to feel hungry, all my internal cues are screwed up. While my body feels bloated, my ego is feeling quite a bit deflated.
What's most devastating to me is that I really thought that I'd found the answer, that eating well really had become second nature to me. I craved fruit. I listened to my body. Working out was just another part of my day. But all of that seems like ancient history right now.
It's remarkable how quickly I can fall into diet-mode. A place I've sworn off because I tell myself I refuse to see food or my body as an enemy that needs to be vanquished. But yeah, as soon as things start feeling a little off, there it is. I can do this without fad or fasting. I can get back to a place where I feel comfortable without diet mantras and calorie counting. I can follow my own advice, which has always been to stop freaking out about things and eat the things that make you feel good and exercise because it's something to do for yourself. This is me giving myself a peptalk.
We've all been here haven't we? How do you get back to ground zero?
Elastic Waist has the scoop on the reason why you have a hard time staying on a diet.
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