When to Break Up With Your OB

I am 20 and went to have my first exam recently. My doctor was very rude; she talked down to me like I was a whiney little 17-year-old asking for the pill so I could have sex with my boyfriend. In reality, I was there to become established as a patient because I'm at the age to start having those visits yearly. She was "shocked" that I am not on any kind of birth control when I truthfully have no need for it yet, and she was cery cold; I try to make little jokes to make the situation more comfortable and she brushes them off and keeps talking to me like I'm a child. The red flag section clear up a lot for me, thank you. While I was already planning to change doctors, this was a great confirmation that I'm making the right choice.

I have sen a couple of doctors in the past who were guilty of this type of behavior, but out of those doctors, only two of them fell into the specialty field. In my experiences, these doctors usually fell into the primary care section. The OB-GYN I saw for 25 years was one of the smartest and most compassionate doctors that I have ever had. He was a fantastic doctor who helped me get through two miscarriages and he got to the root of my health problems. This doctor was really intelligent, kind, patient and a compassionate man who had a great bedside manner. I was sad to learn at my last appointment that he was going into semi-retirement and he explained why. Sure, I've found other Gynecologists since then, but I still haven't found another OB-GYN that began to compare to this doctor. I had a couple of friends who also saw this doctor and they felt the same way I did. But if I had been planning on choosing another doctor to replace him, I would have given him the same courtesy that he always extended to me... a face-to-face explanation but I would have made certain it was in between patients so that I didn't take up too much of his valuable time.

On the other hand, if you have been seeing a doctor who is racing from patient to patient, is worried about how much time is spent with each patient and is not listening to your concerns, then there is nothing wrong with requesting that your records be sent to another doctor. Doctors who fall into the ambivalent category honestly couldn't care less if you are dissatisfied with his/her services! So, why waste your time and money on one last appointment, only to have the doctor take out their aggravation with you on the next patient?! If you felt it was important to tell that doctor why you were firing him or her, simply send a brief note addressed to the doctor and mark it "personal and confidential." Maybe that way, the secretary/assistant wouldn't throw your note in the trash without the doctor ever seeing it. It would certainly be less stressful, it wouldn't cost you except for the cost of postage and you wouldn't waste your time or the doctor's.

Nice article. Although this could be the case with any Doctor; specifically, general practitioners or family Doctors. I had Doctors who stayed less than 5 minutes and talk to you for half that time. Rude. On the other hand, you can find that caring and nice Doctor who answers all your concerns and makes you feel like they really care for you.

I have a great relationship with my OB. He listens and explain everything to where you can understand it. He always make time to see people one day his office stayed open until 7 because he had patients that had to come in that day. and he doesnt lecture!

Leave your OB when he leaves the speculum in too long and you can feel his breath.

"Why schedule a consult that you will be charged for? Just transfer your med records and schedule with another OB then file a complaint with the facility your former OB works at..." Yes, what Megan said. Why waste your time telling the doctor why you are unhappy and not going to come to her anymore. I have had absolutely horrible experiences with OB/GYNs. I finally found one who was my doctor for 18 years, until she retired. She listened to me and wouldn't give up on solving a condition I had when I was 19. My previous doctor had told me that I "would just have to live with it" Not surprisingly, my fantastic doctor had been a nurse first and then went back to school for her MD.

Not all OBGYNs are girls. I didn't like it kept saying SHE in this. Mine is a guy and has delivered one of my children, 2 of my sisters, and was there for all of my other childs pregnancy. He's amazing and I wouldn't replace him for anyone. This one I had before him though, I HATED her, she was rude, obnoxious, and just plain stupid. I knew more about my pregnancy than she did, I'm glad I switched.

I had a baby last year and even I had to use medicaid( wasn't married yet so couldn't use my husband's insurance), I had good doctor i felt he care,and though I had to end up with a c-section (which I'm happy I did), I felt comfortable with my OB and enjoyed the hospital! Good article.

I have an OB who speaks his mind. It isn't always nice and not always what I want to hear but he tells me anyway and I respect him for it. I would walk away if I was given bad medical care or was ignored by my doctor, but thankfully he is thorough and I delivered early for a c section. I can honestly say that I trust my OB and would not change unless he was going to retire.

Don't drop a Good Doctor !

Remind them that they used to relate to you better and ask them if they are that over worked !!

Look 1000's of Doctors were sold on joining the Large Medical Groups to pool their efforts for the Community.

They took on huge amounts of Debt in the Medical Group !

Now they are Investor/ Owner/ Board Member/ Worker/ Physician !!!!! That is a lot of hats to wear.
If anyone 1 Doctor in the Group is sick or goes on Vacation the others have to pick up their slack!

I think to say that all Dr.'s are the same is wrong! I just recently switched to a home-birth midwife because I don't want to experience a hospital birth again unless I truly need medical assistance, but that doesn't mean that my OB is terrible. I was sad to leave her practice. I think that sometimes just talking to the office works well. I told them what my desires were and all the staff was very positive, I'm still considered a patient, and I even saw my Dr. today as she ended up delivery my nephew, and she was excited to talk about me getting to experience something "as wonderful" (her words!) as a homebirth since I had such an uncomplicated delivery. There are some OB's out there who are truly wonderful and I hate there is such a large amount of anger and distrust of doctors. After all, they're only human!

I have a a form of diabettes with my last three children.
With Courtney I had to be seen by the appointed doctor at the AF base where we were stationed. One day he walked by as the dietitian was wondering why I was allowed to get so sick before they figured out what was wrong with me. He calmly looked over his shoulder and said "I'd have worried about it if she went into a coma." Another day he called me at home to tell me to come in the next day. "There's about an 80% chance that your baby is severly handicapped" he told me, over the phone. The next day I went in to find that it was a mistake with the test, recognized by him the moment he looked at my charts.
With Thomas I had an awesome OB ,(even if I was the one causing some of the problems) and if anyonw is pregnant in Minot ND, you can't do better then Dr, Fishbach, even though I'm sure I spelled the name wrong.
With Abby I thought he had left the area so I went to a different doctor, who refused to see that my blood sugar was an issue, because gestational diabettes doesn't hit until about the 6th month. Even though my blood sugar was 300 two hrs after having a snack. He also refused to believe that this made me physicaly ill. Praise God I found that Doc Fishbach was still in the area and switched back to him. He had me to specialists, and on the (not as scary as I thought it was gonna be) insulin within the week and I got through that one just fine. He treated me just like one of his eight daughters. Sometimes a little gruff, but alway with care and respect.

This is true for ANY doctor that anyone sees!

Thank her?! FOR WHAT? Treating you poorly and with disrespect? You've got to be kidding! Why be so afraid to tell them you are not satisfied with their service when they didn't treat you well? You owe them NOTHING! If they don't show you respect, repay the favor! Sheesh! Schedule a private consultation?! Again - WHAT FOR? So she can get one last billing from you? I think NOT!

I had to find a new Gyno when mine decided I should have children. I was 20 years old, not in a relationship, and had already decided not to have any(I still do not want any 15 years later). I had to fight to get her to refill my BC Rx and she would only refill it for 6 months because at my age I should really start considering having children.

Everything and every comment re: this article suggests that we are asking physicians to be God...perfect all the time. Wake up. You are your own best advocate. Your knowledge is key in how you receive healthcare. Stop looking for perfection in a profession populated by mere mortals. One person's perfect doctor may not be someone else's cup of tea. Stop whining.

I changed OB's when my first one told me I had had a miscarriage. When I went in for the ultrasound a week later to make sure everything had cleared out, the tech obviously hadn't read the chart and said "there's the heartbeat". My husband calmly explained why we were there while I cried hysterically. Then she couldn't find the heartbeat again so we had to come back in two weeks to see if the baby had grown or was still there etc. Suffice it to say, once it was all cleared up we changed OB's. I just had my records forwarded to my new OB and my amazing son was born 5 weeks early. Six years later, I kept the same amazing OB for my daughter even though I had moved 45 mins away.

I wish I would have seen this article about 3 years ago. I had an OB who was treating me and then stopped showing up, with no explanation. When I kept going to my appointments, I was being seen by someone else, who came to find out was a Nurse Practitioner. I didn't find out until my last month that the OB I was seeing was no longer with the practice. The office I was with, never said anything or gave me a new doctor. I kept seeing the Nurse Practitioner. Through the help of family, I was able to find a doctor that would take me in at the last minute, check to make sure things were going ok and deliver my baby. From my previous experience and reading this article, I know now that I need to be on top of things and make sure myself and unborn child are getting the best care.

Yahoo! Let's give a little love to the growing midwife community out there. When to leave your OB? When you realize that a woman who doesn't think this is a medical problem is out there who will provide as good, if not higher, quality care (more than 15 minutes worth) for less money.

I really like this article and wish more was written on the choices women had in their care. Midwifery care is a great option, and I'm wondering where health care for women and babies will go this year. I would love to see our country move to a midwifery care model for mothers. Also, I wish you had discussed childbirth classes a little more. I always have taught informed choices and consent in my classes. I'm beginning teaching Brio Birth Classes this year, and we discuss this as well along with alternatives. All in all, great job on getting more information out that we women can make choices in our births.