Why My Husband Hates The Way I Eat (And How We’re Still Married)

Have you ever been tempted to eat a 100% pure, plant-based, organic, raw-food diet? Yeah, me neither. I would likely be hungry a lot (like the time I attempted a three-day fruit fast). And come on, a life without chocolate? Or wine? Or Chocovine (a fine French Cabernet with subtle yet rich undertones of dark chocolate, or some hoity-toity description like that)? More power to people who can pull off such a simple (yet strict) diet. Even though I am not that extreme-I'm a vegetarian who also has some food quirks-according to my meat-eating husband, my eating habits are still a bit preposterous.

Here's how we survive our "mixed marriage" of differing diets:

If one of you is a vegetarian and the other isn't, it's not the end of the world.

Just searching around the internet, I'm amazed at the number of posts inquiring, "Would you consider dating a vegetarian if you weren't one?" Or, "How your relationship can survive if your spouse eats meat." Eating meat or not eating meat just isn't that big of a deal. In our house, fish is neutral territory, and we eat a good amount. Although this is the only area where I stray when it comes to being a vegetarian. As for meat, I do keep some of it in the freezer for my husband and our kids, but I will not cook it. If they don't like what we're having or feel the need to add some chicken on top of their spinach salad, then I don't stop them. My beliefs are my beliefs. Not theirs.

Pizza is the best thing since community church for mixed marriages.

Ordering pizza once a week allows everyone to be happy. I get my half with eggplant and Roma tomatoes; he gets his half with ham and pineapple. We're both happy. And if there's a piece of stray ham on my side of the pie, I don't freak out. I just pluck it off.

Being a righteous dude never worked for anyone.

It's fine to not eat meat for ethical reasons (that's why I do it), but I don't push that on my husband or try to make him feel guilty when we go out and he orders a big piece of red meat. I share with him certain videos and books that I find insightful on vegetarianism (like The Kind Diet and The China Study), then I let him choose his education and make his own decisions. We're all grown-ups, you know.

A little tofu never hurt anyone.

I will admit to sneaking tofu into an occasional recipe or two and trying to pass it off as chicken. After a few bites, I was ratted out, but you know what? He still continued to eat it. With the right seasoning and a little crispiness, tofu can be delicious. (But I was still vetoed in my tofurky proposal at Thanksgiving.)

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart…

Beans make a very hearty and filling substitute for meat-and my husband likes them. Throwing a cup of black beans on top of a salad or in a salmon burrito will make him less likely to eat a bowl of cereal an hour later because he's still hungry. Finding foods like this that you both like and both consider satisfying are important in a mixed marriage. Likewise, I don't recommend trying to pass off a plate of cucumber salad and sprouts as a complete meal. It just doesn't cut it (whether you're vegetarian or not).

Don't make separate dishes-even when the in-laws come to visit.

When my family comes to visit, my "odd" meatless diet gets the Spanish Inquisition treatment (which is why I avoided telling them at first). "What?", they ask in horror as if I just announced I was never going to bear them grandchildren. "You don't eat any meat?" Just stand your ground, don't get defensive and never, never let them guilt you into cooking two meals. It also helps to have a husband who supports your decision and knows how to deflect the food argument by bringing up the subject of his brother's odd cat- and gerbil-fetish.

Photo: Thinkstock

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