Is your "honey do" list getting longer and longer every day with no check marks beside any of the items on it? Getting your husband to stop procrastinating is not an easy thing to do. But putting it off makes no sense either. The key is to get him to actually take care of things he has promised, without turning into a nag. As Marcia Eckerd, Ph.D puts it in her article, "An Instant Cure for Procrastination" on the Psychology Today website, "we like to feel our partners like us as we are, and no one likes to be a 'home improvement' project'", so ensure your husband knows it has nothing to do with "changing him." All you want is your cupboard doors to be back on the cupboards, really.
Talk to Your Husband
Rather than approach him in a confrontational way like, "How on earth can I get you to finally start doing things around here?" say something along the lines as, "I know you have so much to do, what can I do to help you finish it?" Listen to him and validate his feelings about being overwhelmed and you'll get a lot further than berating him. The best-case scenario in that kind of situation is he will finish the jobs just to get you to leave him alone, with no pride in his work or attention to detail. Oh, and forget about planning a larger remodeling project in the future. So talk honestly about his feelings, and yours.
Keep Rechecking Your List
To get your husband to stop procrastinating, look at your part in it also. Are you constantly adding small things that you can maybe accomplish yourself? With the wealth of information on the Internet, there is little excuse to not learn how to change that leaky pipe or start on the outside structure of those bookshelves you want custom built in the living room. Even if you are not handy at all, take small steps to help your man in the right direction. For example, write down the measurements and use a software program to print up plans for him so he can really visualize how cool the kitchen will look with new cabinets. Throw in a small under-counter keg fridge for extra leverage.
Bribe Him and Reward Him
Bribery is not as bad as it seems in a relationship. Sure, he should be doing these things to make your lives easier and more efficient, but who really cares? The end result will be the same. Spice things up by offering to wear a pair of overalls and a tool belt to help him out on the weekend with the projects or even a French maid outfit to clean up in after he is done. Keep things simple and say "I would really love it if you could get that table fixed in the dining room so I can have the book club over on Friday night and you can escape and go down to the pool hall with the boys while they're here." See how fast the hammer comes out. Lastly, when he does get something done, reward him with a big thank you, breakfast in bed or even just a long, passionate, lingering kiss. Tell him how it turns you on to watch him work. The jobs will get done faster and better because of his pride.
Figuring out how to get your husband to stop procrastinating is like getting rid of most other annoying traits in a marriage: He needs to truly want to stop. Whether this is to actually start spending his time wiser or not doesn't really matter. If all he is looking for is a little "pay" for his time, then start giving it. Maybe the next time he wants you to cook him and his friends a seven-course meat-fest extravaganza on football night, he'll show up with flowers and tickets to that play you've been dying to see. Stranger things have happened when you start the bribery ball rolling.