YOUR FRIENDS' ACTIVITY

    Should you invite your ex’s family to your wedding? A Jennifer Aniston case study

    Movie star Jennifer Aniston teared up recently when discussing her engagement to cutie pie Justin Theroux. Maybe the "Friends" star felt comfortable being interviewed by her BFF Chelsea Handler. Perhaps Jen is just happy to find a soulmate who won't be making a movie with Angelina Jolie. (We kid, of course!) The lovely Jen described her teary reaction as "verklempt" and we are equally as thrilled for her.

    While Jen rocks her new diamond, a new wedding rumor is making the rounds. America's sweetheart allegedly has an interesting guest on her wedding list. It seems that Jennifer may have invited Jane Pitt, ex-husband Brad Pitt's mom, to attend her nuptials.

    So what exactly is the protocol on inviting the ex husband's family to your wedding? Would Mrs. Pitt be granted a plus one? Is there the possibility that Zahara and Maddox's dad could be sitting in the pews as Ms. Aniston ties the knot? Say it ain't so, Jennifer.

    How would this work out in your life? There are three key questions to ask yourself before mailing those wedding invitations. Let's discuss.

    1. Why the invitation?

    If you're married to a man and he's close to his folks then you marry his family too. It makes sense that Jen might still be in touch with Mrs. Pitt. Brad's mom might have even been a major source of consolation for Aniston after the divorce.

    Still, it's important to ask yourself, why am I inviting my ex or his family members to my wedding? Couldn't you maybe get the same feeling of solidarity by sending them a wedding announcement instead? Be honest with yourself. You may be trying to say, "look at me now" to your ex. If so, that's not the kind of energy you want to move forward with.

    2. How long ago were you together?

    If you're 35 and your ex is your childhood sweetheart, then by all means invite him or his mom to your wedding. The same goes for someone that you might have dated for a couple of weeks and then realized you'd be better off as friends. Either way, don't spring an ex on your current mate.

    If an ex, his sister, mother or dog is invited to your wedding, be sure that your current partner is included in the decision. Adults accept that other adults have pasts. Once again, just be clear on why you are inviting that past into your future.

    3. Was it a bad breakup?

    If you and your ex woke up one day and mutually decided to part ways, good for you. A relationship may have run it's course or completed itself. Then, you take your lessons along with your pride and dignity and move on. Perhaps you and your ex really did remain "good friends" as the ole breakup disclaimer goes.

    On the other hand, if your ex moves in with another woman and adopts her kids before you can change your name at the DMV, you may harbor resentment. A situation of deep betrayal takes a great deal of healing. Even if you are now "friends" again, why would you want you ex at your wedding?

    A bad breakup is akin to a death. Weddings are about rebirth and new beginnings. The breakup of a long-term relationship is met with emotional grief. My official love coach advice: let your ex celebrate his happiness for you at home instead of at your wedding ceremony.

    Good luck!

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