With so many broken homes these days, it's hard to keep ex drama from invading your life. When it does, it does not just impact you. It impacts your child as well. It may also prevent you from establishing new relationships. Most certainly it is establishing a pattern in your child's young mind.
Leave the past where it belongs. How many years do you think you can play the blame game before you get tired of it? When you start bringing up the past or participating in a conversation about the past, all you are doing is drudging up unpleasant feelings. Even if your child doesn't get pulled in the middle, he or she will notice the difference in your affect and relate it to the other parent. None of us have the right to put that kind of a burden on a child.
Keep the focus on the child. If your ex wants to talk to you and he or she is known for talking about things other than the child, simply ask if the conversation has anything to do with your parenting roles. If not, politely decline to continue the conversation. The only you have left to talk about is the life that you both care for. The more you can keep the conversation on the child, the less drama you will have to deal with.
Stop enabling. The only thing that comes to you from enabling is a wealth of bad feelings. It took me about six years to finally figure out that I left my ex in part because I was sick of enabling him. Yet, I continued to enable and he continued to expect it. Once I stopped enabling, I was able to start some healing because I didn't have new bad feelings on top of the old ones.
Create boundaries. I know a few people who cannot seem to separate themselves from their exes. They constantly text back and forth or harass anyone the other might be dating. As soon as you stop initiating and responding to these kinds of things, you'll find that you can actually move on with life. Explain to your ex that you are moving on and that from here on out all communications will be about the child between you. Stick to that plan, even if it means ignoring calls and texts that don't relate to the child. When you drag things out, your child will learn about it and will be held in a limbo of hope that you will get back together.More from this contributor…
Source: Personal Experience