What's the quickest way to a tween heart? Appeal to their desires. Tweens are no different than adults in some respects. They want privacy, space and independence, just like you. They might keep these things to themselves because they feel you wouldn't approve. Still, if you take a good look inside every tween, you'll find they're not so different from you as a kid. You just have to pay attention. So, what does every tween long for that they don't want to bring up?
1. Every tween wants a little money of their own. They might not tell you about it. After all, you've made it clear that greed is a bad thing. They want you to approve of them, believe it or not. What's more, tweens need money of their own. They also need you to butt out when it comes to how they spend that money.
2. Tweens want to spend their own money without your input. They need the freedom to make choices about their finances while you're still there to catch their fall. They also need you to drop them occasionally. If you don't, they'll never learn the hard lessons of proper budgeting. They have to fall before they can fly. It's smart to have rules about some of their money for lessons in safety and discipline. Just remember to let them have some unrestricted money for life lessons too.
3. Having a pet of their own is a common wish of every tween. Tweens and pets are a natural mix. Pets also teach tweens important lessons in responsibility and kindness. Why not let kids have the experience of caring for their very own pet? Being a good pet parent is great practice for being a people parent too.
4. Tweens love being home alone without parents. Sometimes they tag along just to make you happy. They'd really rather have a little space. They're also pretty smart. They know you need space from them too, even if you don't realize it. Why drag your tweens along everywhere you go? Sometimes you both need a little me time.
5. Having lots of friends is something every tween secretly desires. Who wouldn't want to be the popular kid? I was pretty shy in school. I had a few good friends. I was happy. Still, I would have given anything to be one of those kids that appear all over the pages of the yearbook. Don't assume your kids don't want lots of friends just because they lack awesome social skills. Give them the gift of self esteem to reach their goals instead.
More from Jaipi:
Handling tween outbursts calmly
Tips for leaving tweens with younger kids
Is Permissive Parenting a Bad Thing?
