The 10 Secrets of One Unflappable Working Mother

Great Article!
@Rachlwhite

Work life balance today is difficult but not impossible! My mother holds a degree in Veterinary medicine, worked full time at the business she and my father built, and raised 5 kids. I used to look at her, think about the stories she told me of her trials and tribulations in pursuing her degree and think how lucky I was because the world was changing and things would be different for me. Unfortunately, here I am today 37 years old, married, two kids and work full time as an active duty Army officer but still face situations similar to my mothers. All too often women today are forced to choose between being a mother or having a career. Well, I want both and feel as though it is possible but have found there is an element of give and take.

Over the years I have discovered requirements for success and happiness are personal decisions. In order for me to be the best mother, wife, sister, and Soldier I have a few requirements. I personally require an environment that is: intellectually stimulating, one that provides an opportunity to receive and provide coaching, teaching, and mentoring, and bestow service to a country that has provided me with opportunities I otherwise wouldn’t have.

The difficult but not impossible balance is a daily campaign I gladly undertake. My frame of reference today for assessing importance is what effect will this have on me when I am eighty years old. For me, the memories I create with my family are more important as they are enduring. Job performance or a particular position held will not provide me comfort and companionship I require for life to have meaning.

MAJ Steffanie Steelhammer
ILE Staff Group 30-B

I worry so much about my life choices and what it means to my family....( Don't we all?) Honestly, after a difficult working mom day, it felt good to feel understood. Almost made me weep!!

Apparently this is advice for SINGLE moms, or the father might figure somewhere in the equation?

I'm so glad I don't have kids, that is just too much, but good for you guys who can do all that

mendy com back down to earth. i live in new england. my hubby makes about $65,000 a year. there is no way we could survive on his income alone. our taxes here in the north east are outrageous. that's because all the states here are run by a bunch of welfare loving liberals. i would love to stay home with my kids but we need both incomes to live. we can't even afford to have a once a month date night.heck a gallon of milk costs more than a gallon of gas here

I do not believe how many women fall for this myth of superwoman syndrome. I thought women finally reached the wisdom of intuition and did not rely on outside recognition, such as this b;;;s;;; article.
What a disgrace to the female intellect.

Wonderful article I loved it. I have often felt I reduced my expectations when I decided my largest goal would be to leave the house in the morning by 7:30 without crying children. However , since then I leave the house accomplished and and my children are happier. Thank you for putting it in print now I just need to work on not second guessing those decisions.

This article is awesome! Love it... especially the part about telling the nurse to apply an ice pack and "send Shorty back to class." Seriously, you can't always jump, so you need to be prepared to make your best judgment call and move on. I'm a working mom and have been for almost 20 years. In that time I've learned many of the things you mention here. Most of all, I've learned to do what I can do and not worry so much about what I can't do. It just is what it is. If you over-think what you can't change, you'll waste too much valuable time and get even less done. Kudos to you Michelle for getting it right (without the childless "experts"). Think I'm going to put my five year old to bed in her school uniform this coming Sunday. LOL.

Thank you for writing this article. There are so many people that need to understand that as a single moms that work lives and homes lives get blurrred and its OK. It took me a few years to realize it and accept it without feeling guilty. My life is so much better:)

Now this is a woman I'd like to have drinks with! KellyS - hide copy paper and a roll of scotch tape and one of every other office supply because your kids think that these are toys, and they will never be available when you actually need them at 9:00 pm for something due at 8:00 am. I have received several paper clip and staple necklaces as gifts from my kids, and yet I can never attach two pieces of paper together.

Thanks! You are absolutely right, especially on the first point of "Do work at home; do home at work".

I agree with S S. This article does nothing to help with having a baby and a teenager. I look forward to the day she goes to school. That is so much easier. What are you people complaining about?

I stayed home with my little ones and loved it. I looked at it from a selfish point of view: why should someone else get to have all the fun of playing with MY baby, dressing MY baby, feeding MY baby, etc.? (Not to mention, who would I trust with MY baby?!) Pushing papers and wearing business suits makes money, but being a mother makes human beings -- don't try to convince me that any other job is more important or fulfilling, or that good mothering is possible to do well when a woman is strapped with too many competing tasks. Something has to give, and it shouldn't be the children who are sacrificed.

My hat is off to you Lisa ... WOW

Another time saver, braid their hair before bed. You still have to brush it in the morning, but there are no tangles to deal with.

Work=A, Child=B, turning your kids into a math equation and a problem to be solved? I don't think so. I work hard so my wife can stay at home and raise our children, not send them off to some stranger at an institutionalized day care. She has nothing to prove and finds complete satisfaction from her real job of raising our kids.

As a working mother of two toddlers, I find this article cold and missing the point. To me, this article reflects a lot of the issues we have in our society. Multi-tasking is a good thing, but I guess I did not like the writing style or examples.

Great, realistic, advice! I'm a working mother of 4 and alot of what she said rang true. This life is often overwhelming, but the benefits are there too. Thank you! And keep plugging away everyone!!

Is THAT what life is really all about? Just juggling the balls all in the air so that no one ball falls on the floor (and stays there for too long)????

What about savoring the moments, enjoying STILLNESS with your children, and taking in those special "small" moments and knowing that before long they will be grown adults. I can honestly say i've experienced both camps...I worked full-time for the first 4 years i had kids..now been at home for a year.
I can tell you that SAHMs work WAY harder than working moms...but the work is so much more meaningful and will impact generations to come!!

If you really TRULY cant afford to be at home, then do what you have to and dont feel guilty for a second. However, for me, I was one of those people living in the 3500 sq foot house and both working so we could afford it. I found that working cost us a lot - move to a smaller house, really determine your costs of working such as eating out b/c of your busy lifestyle, a house keeper and sending clothes out to dry cleaner..things i can now do myself because I am home.

If women's lib taught us anything..we should all respect one another's position and not JUDGE.