"Love at first sight is easy to understand. It's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle." ~Sam Levenson
Hollywood makes a great deal of money on lovey-dovey romantic comedies. These films almost always have one thing in common. Rather than meeting and falling in love immediately the hero and heroine usually "meet cute." What does that mean? A meet cute scene is one where the lovers-to-be meet dramatically under adverse circumstances. Then we spend the entire film hoping that their love pursuit works out and desperately wanting them to be together.
In our own romantic fantasies, however, we are stuck on the dream of love at first sight. We yearn to see "the one" across a crowded room, fall in love and live happily ever after. It rarely happens this way. Some of us may have experienced love at first night, however!
So, does love at first sight exist? Or is the notion of love at first sight just wishful thinking? For our purposes let's define love at first sight as looking at someone and feeling desire, wanting intimacy and genuinely needing the other person's well-being immediately.
As romantic a notion as love at first sight is, we romantic fools may be onto something. Anyone who has ever tried speed dating or interviewed someone for a job found that their first impressions were often right. As Malcolm Gladwell explained in his popular and groundbreaking nonfiction book "Blink," you often can judge a book by its cover; and we do.
Professor Artemio Ramirez of Ohio State University agrees. In a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships Ramirez reported that people decide a few minutes after meeting what kind of relationship they want with the person in front of them. It often becomes a self fulfilling prophesy. So you meet someone and think they're hot. Then you say to yourself this person is going to be my next main squeeze. You're feeling them and they're feeling you. You both have the same love expectations so you pursue them and those expectations are fulfilled.
The Chemistry.com dating website guru Helen Fisher says that there are three stages of love: lust, attraction and attachment. While it is possible to feel lust and attraction immediately, attachment has to be developed. This deeper attachment is what is needed for long term relationships.
So how can you increase the chances that you can fall in love at first sight? Be open, willing, and receptive to it. Self-fulfilling prophecy, remember? You can also easily increase the chances that someone will fall in love at first sight when looking at you by being your most secure and confident self.
Love at first sight can be as romantic and real for you as it was for "Romeo and Juliet." However I can't officially recommend it. Look how that story turned out.
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