10 Shocking Secrets of the First Year of Marriage

thank you so much for this wonderful article!! It has really helped me on a 'down' day - on so many different levels! Thanks. well written.

Marriage is no joke. Make sure the other person will put in as much effort as you will. Communication problems and trust issues can ruin a great thing. Been married once and now happily divorce. Find yourself first, date, and then find the right person for you. Marriage is ok I guess. Don't plan on going through another. Who knows..

Of course Me. It's still not legal for two men to marry..

Articles like this point out the problems in American family life and the egocentric culture that has created the disaster of the same.
The advice about gaining weight is incorrect. If you think he loved you because of your looks and then you let the same slide, it is certain to cause a problem. The same should apply to him.
You shouldn't even want to spend as much time with your old friends as you now have a life partner or didn't you and he understand that when you took your vows?
You should both be working to maintain the residence, keep the clothes clean, etc. Weren't you doing this before you got married? Then keep doing it.
The most important things to do is to learn that love, like everything else, changes as it develops and that the wild passionate "love" becomes friendlier, more supportive and less demanding as it matures.
The psychologists and author of this article are practicing the pop psycho babble of self help that has been misleading the American public for years and seems especially popular with women while the divorce rate has sky rocketed and it is insane, literally, to think that doing the same things you have been told to do for year and which has never worked will work now.
In reality, both persons in a marriage need to grow up and drop the fairy tale fantasy stuff.

No mention that a great many Americans are actively depriving others of the right to marry. Divorce rates are far LOWER among those who support same sex marriage rights. The highest rates of divorce are among red states and evangelicals. The divorce rates in Massachusetts have plummeted since same sex marriage rights were recognized and are now at pre-WWII levels, the lowest of any state in the union.

Want your marriage to succeed? Give up on being an a---- and fight for the right for everyone to marry. Period.

People who think the sanctity of their marriage depends on depriving others of the right to marry are doomed to failure.

All this is true, I know from being married 16 years Experience, haha. It is sad in a way but I think you conform and get use to it. But be leary and careful, don't get too use to it as then troubles could settle in. if you see things are sliding in the wrong direction, better go ahead and fix it then before it gets too far down the hill and you can't catch it.

I like the pic.it's a marriage between a man and a woman just like it should be.

Most of this is not relavent since so many couples live together before marriage.

Good article...All true!

Seems that there are a whole lot of rules that have to be followed with marriage

I'm 44 years old; have never been married and I'm as happy as I can be. I have lost track of how many guys, who have told me (when we're alone), "Man, don't EVER get married"!
FACT! Today, ONE out of TWO marriages end in divorce. And of the 50% that stay together, HALF of them are miserable and just stay together, because of kids; it's cheaper than divorce, etc.
A 25% success rate, isin't a very good testimonial for marriage! In the past year, I've taken a European Vacation and an Elk Hunting trip to Colorado. If I were married, with 2-3 kids, I wouldn't have been able to do either!
If you're married and happy, more power to you! As for me, I love my life, JUST THE WAY IT IS! B.T.W, check out a website called, www.nomarriage.com. It SAYS IT ALL!

My parents will be married for 60 years in less than two weeks. Stoke survivors, Alzheimers and Dimensia, 6 kids, but alot of hard work and dedication, my Dad always supported the family, my Mom took care of the house. Sure times have changed and in most cases a double income is needed now - But when a friend of theirs asked for advice on marriage? My Mom said, "live each day to the fullest, have alot of friends to surround you, go to bed early, go to church together, Both of you eat all the ice cream and butter you want, Both of you go to the doctor regularly, It's ok to argue but get it out of your system without hurting each other, but most of all? Stay faithful to your spouse, and never get to old to hold each others hands and give lots of hugs. She's 82, My Dad is 83. Every day my Mom still goes to the Nursing Home and holds hands with my Dad, they still enjoy ice cream together, and they always hug before she goes home.
Happiness to all.....

I agree with this in EVERYTHING

"Why are they trying to make it seem like your single friends are jealous of you? I am so jealous that you get to sleep with the same man forever. I am so jealous that you are a grown up and have to tell someone where you're going all the time. I am so jealous that you're pregnant and are going to have a vajayjay you can drive a truck through. Give us a break. Also your married life has taken you to a different place. Not necessarily better, just different. Out with single friends is not where you need to be. You have a HUSBAND. Go tend to him. Don't worry about us poor desperate single girls. We'll have to find some way to manage without you... we'll just take our poor, worthless selves out and manage to have fun without you talking about how you really should be at home with your husband and complaining about all the weight you're starting to gain. You need to find some married friends. Sorry you rushed down the aisle because some magazine told you that if you weren't married by 30 you would spontaneously combust. This is 2010 people. Marriage is nothing but a business transaction"

yeah I gotta disagree with number 5. "THE SHOCK: You'll do the dishes; your husband will fix stuff." he does the dishes, I fix stuff around the house, he does the laundry I do the yard work, he fixes dinner I fix the car

ANYBODY WHO DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW THAT STUFF IS A REEEETARD!!!

Are you kidding me? Things will NEVER be 50/50, it doesn't matter how "in love" you are and even if you discuss it and agree on it before you get married, whether it's chores, sex, money, friends, etc. Marriage is absolutely the BLINDEST thing that a woman could EVER do! Stay single ladies, after all, Oprah is NEVER WRONG! If you want more money, get a second job; if you want more sex, find more sex partners or buy different sex toys; if you want someone to share the chores, hire professionals on a part-time basis; If you want to hang out with your friends, hang out with them! Men will ALWAYS complain, they DO change when you get married, the "honeymoon" stage ends when you come home from the honeymoon and by all means, if your man isn't having sex with you, he's having sex with someone else! Women, QUIT BEING BLIND!!!!!!!! Staying single will obviously eliminate the "problems" of marriage!!!!! SERIOUSLY!

I am shocked that you THINK you know what you are talking about. Marriage is a very sacred sacrament. Get with it, writer.

My wife gets upset when I go to topless bars so now I just invite them over when she's not home. There's no sacrifice too great to make her happy.

Shock #1: OMG! You're not a woman. You have a thingy! :0

Not really secret but....Agree with #1 but make a workout plan and do it together....#2 Ever since I started dating my husband (at 16) our friends started to tappered off. You want to spend more time with yor life partner, not silly old friends partying all the time....#3 YEP!!.....#4 We dont have unpacked boxes, we get rid of crap we dont need, to much clutter....#5 We do divide the chores and it works out because what I like he doesnt and vis versa...He cooks, I do dishes, He does trash, I do laundry..etc.....#6 Even if you do have money you shouldnt spend it, save it....#7 By going towards secret #2, we dont have seperate friends, its just me and him, and we prefer it that way, guess we are an "odd" couple....#8. We DONT go to bed mad! Wont allow it, we talk it out before bed, even if we have to stay up late. Its childish to go to bed mad....#9 My husband does the cooking, he likes to do it, and I do the dishes, thats how it works for us...#10 I havent noticed much changing since we got married, all we did was sign a paper and sealed the deal, to let other people know we were serious. We met at 15 (and knew we were made for each other right away but waited a year to make it official..dumb teenage crap), got together when we were 16, dated for 4 years then got married, been married since 2003...and loving every moment of it. We are also mature for our age, and we have no kids.