See that sexy man across the bar? Matchmaker Richard Easton dishes on the top ten ways to lure him in.
All photos: iStock.com
1. The Eyes Have It
You notice him from across the bar/café/restaurant. And while it's so easy to get bashful and quickly turn away when you like someone, don't do it! Be gutsy! Look into his eyes when he catches you staring. Once you two have each other locked, flash a smile. This lets him know you're interested, and if he feels the same way, he'll know it's OK to come over.
2. Taste is Everything
We love short skirts and spaghetti strap dresses. Most men love slender legs in all lengths. A fresh pedi in strappy sandals does it for us too. Just be mindful of that plunging neckline. A good rule of thumb is the bigger your boobs, the less you want them pushed up or hanging out - otherwise you may as well be screaming, "Catch me, Screw me!" Many women think showing off their big boobs gets them attention, but most likely it's the wrong kind. The same women complain that only playboys hit on them. Shocker! The right men will approach you if you look sexy yet tasteful.
3. "Wit'l" Your Way In
A recurring request from my clients is "introduce me to a girl with wit." Wit showcases your humor and intelligence - two qualities that men look for in long-term relationships just like you do. If you're grabbing dinner solo after work at the bar and some guy comes up to you with a pickup line like "Hey, you come here often?" Reply with something like "Only since breakfast." If you can make him laugh, there's a good chance you'll be having a dinner companion in addition to that drink!
4. Don't Worry, Be Happy
You have no idea you are being watched because you are bemoaning your jerk of a boss, or your pending rent, or the fact that you haven't had meaningful sex in a year. The problem is that your anger/sadness/stress or anything else negative is showing, and the guy across the room can see it. It's a red flag the size of Central Park. Men want to meet happy women and don't want to meet unhappy ones. No one is happy all the time, but the place to be unhappy is in the privacy of your apartment, not in public. If you want men to approach you, think happy thoughts, whether standing in line for a coffee, waiting for your friend at a bar or walking around town window shopping. You just never know who might be taking notice.
5. Language of Life
So I think you are totally hot, but you're intimidating me with your body language. Cross your arms and you might as well wear a badge that says "I hate you. Go away." Men are receptive to women who are open to meeting people. We'll approach you because we like the way you laugh with your friends or joke with the bartender. Your delightful personality and open body language says that you're secure with yourself and interested in letting new people enter your life. If you are sitting, cross your legs in his direction with your free foot facing toward him. That says come over. The other direction says stay away.
Uncross those arms. Body language is key in attracting the right guy.
When you love yourself, you allow others to love you too. Wherever you go, carry yourself proudly and with good posture. Think loving thoughts. Keep your eyes at eye level and look around, taking in all that's beautiful in your great city. If you see something you like, smile. When you shake hands with a new acquaintance, grip their hand firmly and make eye contact. If you have an air of confidence and the posture and mannerisms to back it up, you will absolutely intrigue us.
7. Carpe Diem
Let's say you're at a karaoke bar and it's your turn at the microphone. If you're an amazing singer, sing well! If you're a better entertainer, then whip out some choreography! Every situation is an opportunity, so take it. A guy who makes a comment to you about your performance afterwards is trying to spark a conversation. Don't say "thanks" and run, but chat about it and learn more about each other. After all, it took him a lot of courage to approach the celebrity of the night!
8. Less is More
Ladies, please remember the tip that all your mothers gave you a long time ago: less is more. Men find women who don't overdo it much more approachable. Makeup should just accentuate those beautiful features you already have. If you wear darker eye makeup, keep your lips natural. If you want your pout to stand out then keep the eye color to a minimum. Simple is sexy.
9. Martini, Anyone?
So if I see a beautiful woman across the bar, but she's falling all over herself and might spew at any second, it's not a good time to approach her. A totally inebriated woman can have a slew of problems. It makes men ask themselves a lot of questions about her character. Sure, we've all been there, but just as an FYI - he probably won't approach you that night! Remember what they say about martinis: one is just right, two is too many and three is never enough.
10. Fresh Direct
Why wait for him to make the move? Men love being asked out just as much as you do. It's so flattering! I say, if you like the guy, go for it! Look into his eyes and say in your flirtiest voice: "Hey mister, how would you feel about sharing dinner and a bottle of wine with me sometime - say Wednesday or Thursday?" Confidence in a woman is sexy. What's the worst thing he could say? "You and me? I'm not sure about that but thank you." What's the best thing he could say? "Like a date? I'd love to! Thursday works." Either way, you should feel great for taking the risk.
Richard Easton is NYC's premier personal matchmaker. For more information on how to submit yourself for consideration into the club, please visit his site.
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