shhh signPeople say inappropriate things. I know words have come out of my own mouth that I wish I could magically capture and bury and reverse time so those who heard them could un-hear them. I've also been the recipient to those words, and there are words that sting but also words that hurt even deeper -- the things people think they can say to a single woman. It's those words you can expect when around your family, that aunt you haven't seen since last Christmas, from those smug marrieds ... and they can really make a person feel like a giant meteor came crashing down upon them.
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So in an effort to stop those terrible things from coming out of a person's mouth, I present to you ... the 10 things you should never say to an unmarried woman. People have said all of these things to me before I got married at the apparently very old age of ... somewhere in my 30s. Let's hope the right people see this list and knock it off.
1. "Still no ring?"
While this may seem harmless, these three words are daggers. Still? No? Ring? Ouch. Plus, it's rhetorical. Of course there is no freakin' ring. If there was, it would be blinding you right now with its sparkle ... or because I punched you in the eye with it.
2. "Aren't all your friends married?"
Ooooh way to make a gal feel like the only one sitting alone during a slow dance. Perhaps many of your friends have been married, but some are even divorced ... and so what. (See also 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Divorcee.)
3. "Do you even want to get married?"
If the person who asked is married, saying something like, "Of course not. You make it look so regrettable" will shut them up. Unless of course Grandma is asking, then just smile and give her a hug.
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4. "Maybe marriage just isn't for you."
When this comment sinks in, it can also be translated as "Maybe you don't deserve love. Now here's a tissue and run off."
5. "I hear Internet dating works really well for some people."
Eureka! You're a genius. Can you edumacate me on the compooter, too? Clearly I know nothing.
6. "Do you think it's because you are too picky?"
Perhaps the person who said this thinks a woman should settle. Great advice!
7. "Your time will come, don't worry."
If you hear this one, it's best to jump up and down, feign over-the-top excitement, maybe even let out a squeal and say, "Really? Do you REALLY think so! Yay!"
8. "Have you tried changing your hair/dressing different/wearing more/less makeup?"
Thanks for thinking I am ugly.
9. "You'll find 'the one' when you are not looking."
The comment should come with a blindfold.
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10. "Maybe you aren't putting yourself out there enough."
Look, not everyone is in a rush to get down the aisle. And the pressure to find the right guy can sabotage the search. So shhhh ....
Have you heard any of these gems? Have any to add?
Image via MarkWallace/Flickr
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