There are a ton of horror stories out there about people meeting on the internet trying to find love, and then there are some wonderful stories about people who have met on the internet. I am one of the wonderful stories. My husband and I met on match.com and we are absolutely perfect for one another, so it can definitely work. The internet is an unavoidable tool these days if we want to be more efficient with our work, shopping and even sometimes play. In a previous post, I wrote about the 8 Dos and Don'ts of Internet Dating, but today I am going to discuss something rather old fashioned: Finding love in the real world and not the cyber world.
For those of you who have done the internet dating thing, you know how frustrating it can be to weed through thousands of profiles, e-mails, photos and go on those 20 minute coffee dates. It can be as time consuming and exhausting as making the effort to get yourself out in the world and find love in person. Has the world of finding love changed all that much from our parents' generation? I can remember my mom telling me stories about how fun her dating life was in meeting guys at parties or through fix-ups or through a gang of friends. It did not seem as complicated back then, but then again everything was probably easier.
The people around you and in your community can be one of your greatest untapped resources for meeting someone.
1. Make certain to let all your friends know that you are looking to meet someone. Don't just stop with your friends. Ask them to also ask other friends if they have a single friend for you to meet. Have your friends help you to spread the word about how fabulous you are and that you are ready to find someone special.
2. Join a club with something you enjoy. This can be hiking, biking, playing cards, golf, reading, writing, art, music, community theater, work, sports teams, singing, dancing, cooking and the list goes on. You get the idea. For every passion there is a club or organization you can join. If you are having a hard time finding this, check out meetup.com. Although this is a website, they have listings of clubs and meetings all over the world that meet in person. It is a fabulous resource to find people in your own backyard.
3. Host a party and have each person bring someone that is just a friend. Make certain that you have a good balance of men and women. This was in a Sex and the City episode and it is such a great idea!
4. Be seen! Find out what places the kind of person that you would like to meet would hang out. For instance, if you would like to meet a man, what about a sports bar on a very popular game night? Showing up after the game is probably wise so they are no longer distracted. I have a friend who started taking golf lessons and met a man on the golf course. Attend a male friendly convention such as the National Sports Collectors Convention, or the Craft Brewers Conference. If you want to meet a woman, well that's easy, just hang out at the mall, although we are pretty focused when we are shopping and often times men are not a welcome distraction. Go to places like coffee shops, spiritual centers or classes. I tease my male friends and tell them that if they really want to meet a great woman that they need to come to our conferences. Our Celebrate Your Life conference is 85 percent filled with intelligent, lovely women from all over the world.
5. Do you have a dog? A dog park is a wonderful way to connect with people. I often see people just standing around chatting while their dogs are running around playing. It is an excellent way to have a first connection.
6. Join a real live dating service. There are plenty of dating services out there that do not use the internet to connect people. You can also go to a speed dating event, which gives you the opportunity to meet someone in 5 minutes or less.
7. Volunteer your time to an organization that would attract the kind of people who interest you. The Fireman's Fund, Habitat for Humanity, United Way, your local theater as an usher. Get creative and find different organizations in your community.
8. The farmer's market. Everyone is always milling about with a cup of coffee in hand at these wonderful outdoor markets. It's fun and a very comfortable atmosphere.
9. Go hear some live music. Grab a friend and go to a concert or a jazz club, or some place where the pressure is not too high and intense like a bar.
10. Wine tasting events, festivals, art shows. I think you are getting the idea.
The object is to get out there and begin doing things and smile. It is proven that when you smile you are more attractive to others. Shake your energy up a little and take a walk outside your own comfort zone. Be seen, be open to the possibilities and have fun!!