by Kim Fusaro
Rennie Solis Unless you're marrying an orphan or a saint (who also has saintly parents) chances are there's going to be family drama when you're planning your wedding. Makes sense: There are a lot of expectations from all parties--you, your groom, and two immediate and extended families. Here are two easy ways to make sure the drama doesn't send you over the edge.
1) Don't badmouth your in-laws to your groom.
Avoid starting any sentence with, "Your mom is such a bitch" or "Your sister is the WORST bridesmaid." Sure, his mom might be acting like a bitch, and his sister could be a total psycho, but you don't want to put him in a position where he has to defend his family (and I HOPE he defends his family) again and again. Because while he's standing up for them, he's standing up against you. See why that's a bad thing? You guys should be on the same team. So save your bitching for your besties--and even then, keep it to a bare minimum. Talking bad about people only makes the bad feelings fester. Bitch once per bad-behavior episode, and be done with it.
2) Make your groom be the bad guy when it comes to his side of the family.
Whether it's his second cousin asking where her invitation is or his aunt pressing you to include her three toddlers in the ceremony, it's your husband's job to address them. If you're the one delivering bad news, it seems like you're the one who's behind it, if that makes sense. Make this rule up front: He has to deal with his family's crazies, and you'll tackle yours.
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Have you had bad-behaving family members while planning your wedding? How did you deal?
In hindsight I probably would have handled things differently, but as it was, I literally wasn't speaking to my in-laws in the weeks leading up to our wedding. Un-fun.