Guys can't commit! They are only interested in 
sex! They can't be monogamous because it's in their DNA!
If you're a single woman over the age of 30 you have probably used one or more of the above phrases.
And you know what…You're wrong.
If guys really didn't want to get married, if guys didn't think they could commit to a woman and be faithful they would never even walk down the aisle in the first place.
If guys are that opposed to the idea of marriage why do over 2 million men walk down the aisle every year?
Now, before you start sending me evidence of your experience with the "boys" who can't commit, who are emotionally unavailable and who are only interested in sex and screwing every woman they possible can let me assure you I don't live under a rock.
I understand that there are immature guys out there who can not and will not commit to a woman and blame it on their DNA.
I'm not talking about these guys.
I'm talking about the guys who do initially have a desire to walk down the aisle in the first place.
You see ladies most men don't have a problem with commitment and being faithful to a woman…if she's the "RIGHT" woman.
And herein lies the problem for most men (especially those who are older and who have been previously married.)
These types of guys tend to see marriage and commitment as food poisoning. It's like everyone told them to go to the restaurant and when they did they had a really bad experience. They had a severe bout of food poisoning.
And what's worse is they they talk to a lot of other guys who tried the same restaurant and got food poisoning also.
So instead of realizing that they went to a bad restaurant they tend to generalize that all restaurants give you food poisoning.
Now, I'm not agreeing with this generalization I am simply letting you in on how a lot of men see things.
Any time I talk to a single guy who says he doesn't want to get married he usually admits that he feels that way because he is afraid of "getting sick again.".
Every time…..every time I ask one of these guys "If you could meet the right woman and you could be happy and "not get sick" would you be able to be faithful and be monogamous.
Without fail the vast majority of these guys admit that if a woman and marriage can be a happy experience (in and out of the bedroom) than they would have no problem being in a serious committed relationship.
But the problem for many of these guys is based on their own experience they have a hard time believing this type of scenario exists.
And ladies, herein lies the problem. It's not that the vast majority of men don't want to commit it's that they are afraid to commit because they don't want to get sick again.
For many of these guys the experience of marriage has left such a bad taste in their mouths that they don't even want to consider it again.
I'm not defending how these guys think. I'm just giving you a little insight into why many men think and act the way they do.
Now again, I'm not saying that there are not immature and irresponsible "boys" out there who only care about themselves and are oblivious to how their choices and decisions effect women. These jerks are obviously not "relationship material".
No, I'm talking about the guys who will willingly commit and be faithful to a woman under the right circumstances.
Want to know what those circumstances are?
Well, they really are quite simple.
Based on my research there are only two things a guy must have in order for him to want to stay committed to a woman.
1) You make him happier
2) He understands that his life is better/easier with you in it
If you can show a guy that his life will be better with you in it and he will be happier because of the presence of you in his life than he will have no problem committing his life to you .
You see, for men it's all about the quality of the experience. Show them that it will be a good experience and their life will be better with you in it and you will be pleasantly surprised to see that most men aren't as immature and irresponsible as you think they are.
A good friend of mine recently got got divorced. He and his wife were in a horrible, very combustible marriage where they literally despised each other.
It was obvious to everyone who knew them. If you were to talk to this guy's wife she would paint him as the devil incarnate. Well, I've known this guy for over 12 years and I know he has one of the most generous and giving hearts around.
The reason she saw him this way was because she was unhappy with herself. And to make herself feel better she would constantly put him down and ridicule him. And he would react to her attacks. She emasculated him in every way until finally after 20 years he decided he couldn't take any more and he asked for a divorce.
She mad him unhappy and she made his life miserable. And he left!
Would you want be around someone who made you unhappy and made your life a living hell?
Well, several months go by and he meets a wonderful woman. One day he told me a story of how he ran around all of NYC trying to by flowers for his new woman.
When I told him I was surprised he went out of his way and put forth such an effort he looked me straight in the eye and said…"That's because I never had anyone I wanted to buy flowers for!"
His explanation just reinforced to me that if a man is happier and feels like his life is better because of the presence of the right woman he will have no problem staying committed and being faithful to her.
If you show a guy that being with you will make him happy and his life better he will have no problem investing his future with you…Just You!
*** Joe Amoia is the founder and creator of SmarterDatingForWomen.com - Helping single women reclaim their power in the dating game.
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