John Mayer raised more than a few eyebrows when he publicly declared that being with Jessica Simpson was like "sexual napalm." We were surprised, but frankly, this isn't the first time we've heard a man (even John Mayer) run his mouth about something so private. And current flames are just as likely to talk trash as ex-boyfriends. "Most men don't understand proper relationship etiquette and don't think before talking about things you thought were just between the two of you," says New York City-based couples therapist Rachel Sussman. "It doesn't occur to them that it might be personal." We got the dirt on why he thinks it's fine to share everything from your beauty habits to your secret kinky side so you can at least understand the cause of his verbal diarrhea...even if you may not be able to stop it.
1. You Wax Your Upper Lip
We all want guys to think we wake up looking amazing - whether we're sleeping with them or not. So it's mortifying to know that his buddies are aware that your look takes work. But, believe it or not, your look turns him on and he's actually giving you a compliment when he yaps about your embarrassing beauty regime. "He's basically saying, 'Look what this girl does for me. She's going through all of these painful things to look beautiful for me,'" says relationship expert Terri Orbuch, PhD, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great. He's also used to hearing you talk about weird beauty stuff with your girlfriends, so he assumes it's cool for him to do the same.
2. You Just Had a Raging Fight
It sucks to know he's rehashing your latest brawl with his buddies, but let's be honest: We do it, too...and probably go into even more drawn-out detail with our friends. "Everyone deserves support from their friends and it's perfectly normal for him to want to talk it out with someone else," says Sussman. He's also trying to find out whether this kind of fighting is normal in a relationship, says Orbuch, and to get confirmation that you were a total psycho b---- when you asked him to stop playing Super Mario Galaxy while your parents were visiting. Find out why love can make you act crazy even if you're totally sane.
3. He Got Laid Last Night
Whether you've been together for three days or three years, your guy has probably bragged to his friends about bedding you (and he'll do it again). But most men would be surprised to know that offends you, since they're just trying to one-up their buddies. Let's just say there's a lot they still have to learn about women. "Guys have been doing this kind of thing since they were five years old," says Sussman. "It's how they relate to each other." To him, touting his own accomplishments to his crew is as natural as you telling your BFF the results of your recent shopping excursion.
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Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.