Sometimes it feels like the same marriage advice has been around since Adam and Eve--and you know how that panned out. So for her book The Secret Lives of Wives, journalist Iris Krasnow talked to more than 200 married women to see if they follow traditional wisdom. Um, no, they said. They stay in love by taking chances like these:
Risk #1: Call a time-out. The happiest couples Krasnow spoke with spent lots of time apart. Gail, who has been married to Stan for 48 years, told Krasnow that taking summers off from each other saved their marriage. "When the kids went to college, I spent some summers alone in Italy taking art classes," Gail said. "I came back totally energized, and the time apart made us appreciate each other more."
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Risk #2: Have another man in your life. "A third of the women I interviewed had close friendships with men," says Krasnow. Meeting up with platonic male friends allows us to innocently flirt and experience that rush of newness. "Having a relationship with an attractive male friend who doesn't share your toothpaste-splattered sink--and that your husband is okay with--lets you feel desirable without breaking any trust."
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Risk #3: Satisfy yourself. "A lot of people underestimate how important regular orgasms are to a woman's happiness," says Krasnow. In the book, Marilyn, married 30 years, told Krasnow, "All women should [own vibrators]. It takes 30 seconds…. A vibrator also allows you to have a secret life, which everybody should have."
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