3 Ways Porn Can Help Your Marriage
Pornography means many different things to different people. Porn can be defined as "Visual erotic stimulation" which means anything you can look at that turns you on. Pornography can be on a computer screen, a video screen or in print. There is no end to the human sexual imagination, and because of that there is no end to the amount and type of porn produced on the internet and in film. In this way, many of our human erotic needs are met through erotic visual stimulation.
Anything you want to see is available somewhere, for a price, and with the availability and accessibility of the internet, porn is now many times available for free.
With the availability of porn at your fingertips couples using it together is a new phenomenon in many relationships. More and more couples are using pornography to help stimulate their sex life.
What is Your Sexual Type?
Porn can be used in many ways in a healthy couple's erotic life. First, pornography can be a great way to create immediate stimulation between two people watching together. It can increase desire and arousal in both men and women. It can be highly erotically stimulating when couples need a jolt to their sex lives. A porn movie can add immediate stimulation when a little more spice is needed to bring a couple out of their routine sexuality (what I call "maintenance sex.") .
Second, pornography is a good way for couples to learn new tricks. Porn can be a way for couples to tune into new education about sex and an easy source of information. Because it can be used for educational and informational purposes, couples can use movies and DVD's or internet clips to find out how to pull off a certain move in bed. They might have some curiosity about what other people do in bed to make it work. They may also want to see visually what it will look like if they try to make it happen. There are plenty of instructional porn movies out there that explain everything from anal sex to s&m, and learning together can add a new level of emotional connection and intimacy to the relationship.
The Trouble With Monogamy
Third, porn can be a way to find out what turns you on and what turns your partner on. It can create the beginning of an ongoing conversation that both of you may have been avoiding up until the moment the screen lights up your bedroom. Viewing porn together can be a way for couples to discover new fantasies together. Watching movies or even reading erotica out loud can help couples communicate about what they like and what they don't. It can open a dialogue and begin a new way to talk about sex and increase the erotic connection in a couple.
Mind blowing sex is exactly what it sounds like- it starts in the mind and then explodes. Great sex starts in the imagination. If couples use porn to trigger their erotic imagination together and share their fantasies out loud through the vehicle of pornography, then being with a partner and sharing a porn experience can be connecting and intimate, and exciting.
For some couples the heightened experience of sharing porn creates more stimulation than the everyday sex they are accustomed to and it can add a new dimension to a great sex life.
This weekend find a porn film that you both might like. You probably won't make it through the whole film and that's not important. Connect with your partner by sharing your fantasies, and explore ways to please each other. Find those sexy moments with the person you care about and after a few moments it won't even matter what's on the screen.
About the Author: Dr. Tammy Nelson is a psychotherapist in private practice and the author of Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together.
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