broken heartYou know how sometimes people say women say one thing but mean another? Well, that's totally true. For women and men, but I can only really speak for women because I am one. One subject that is often difficult to be totally and completely upfront about is sex. And I mean whether you are a woman having sex with a new lover or sex with your husband of 3,987 years (or maybe it just feels that long). We kind of have a one size fits all phrase for when we don't want to have sex. Perhaps you've heard it before? "I'm just not in the mood."
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Fair enough. Sometimes we just aren't in the mood and it's for no other reason than the thought of getting naked gives us a headache. (Headache, of course, is another common excuse and often very real.) But there are many times we aren't in the mood for a reason. Maybe it's something the man did, or something we did. So I took this topic to a whole bunch of women and asked for their responses on the real reason they say no to sex. Some may surprise you.
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- Because you didn't do the dishes.
- There is a weird smell coming from your butt.
- You flirted with the waitress and it made me upset.
- I feel fat and I am so not in the mood.
- I have B.O. so I don't want you near me.
- You have B.O. and I don't want you near me.
- I didn't brush my teeth.
- It smells like you didn't brush your teeth.
- You aren't paying enough attention to foreplay.
- I really don't want to give you a blowjob and I know that's what you like first and I just. can't. do. it.
- Because I don't want to do it the minute you walk in the door like you expect.
- Because you've been a pervert all day and it's annoying.
- I'm hungry -- and not for sex.
- Because I'm tired.
- Because groping doesn't turn me on.
- You're drunk and I'm not.
- I don't feel sexy.
- Because I have no interest in sex at all.
- I slept with someone else earlier in the day.
- I just want to be alone.
- Everyone's been up my ass all day, the kid, the dog, the cat, I don't want you there, too.
- Because you're being an asshole.
- Because you're being rough in a mean way.
- I masturbated today. I've had enough.
- Because I can't orgasm and I don't feel like faking it right now.
- Because you aren't hard and I'm tired of trying.
- Because loafing around the house in your boxers while you scratch your balls doesn't make me hot.
- I'm on my period.
- Because I wish the time you just spent playing your Xbox you were playing with me instead.
- Because you don't want to do it how I want and I don't feel like explaining.
- I fantasized about an ex today. I can't do it with you right now.
- Because I'm cranky.
- Five minutes ago you were basically ignoring me. Now you want to have sex? No.
- Because I just showered and don't want to get dirty.
- Because I don't think you love me.
How many of these reasons have been true for you?
Image via suze92/Flickr
Written by Michele Zipp on CafeMom's blog, The Stir.
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