4 Things Men Don't Want to Hear in Bed

Why is it that some people feel the need to say something before, during, or after sex? What is there really to discuss? The weather? Health-care reform? That odd rash? Of course, the only real things to comment on are the actions at hand. Cosmo's guy buddies over at AskMen.com reveal what they never want to hear you say in the sack.

Here, the 5 things a guy doesn't want to hear a woman say in bed...

1. What you should never say: "My ex used to... "
What he's saying to himself: Nothing is a bigger mood-kill for a guy than hearing about a woman's ex before, after, and especially during the act of humping and bumping. Sure, your ex might have done a couple of fantastic feats to help you achieve complete sextacy, but he also stole your debit card and buttered your best friend's muffin while you were at work. Remember this.
PLUS: Read the 10 Things a Woman Never Wants to Hear in Bed

2. What you should never say: "It's my first time."
What he's saying to himself: It's a common misconception that all men want to be the first to conquer a virgin. This is true up until the age of 18. After that age, men want a woman with a little more experience (to make up for the fact they are still pretty clueless). A virgin in the sack means you will probably be both terrible at sex and incredibly emotional.

3. What you should never say: "Can't you just hold me?"
What he's saying to himself: It doesn't take much for men to get horny. A slight peek of cleavage, a quick rub of your thigh, even a stiff wind in a pair of comfy shorts can get the soldier at attention and ready to enter the war. When a guy is charged up and you just want to cuddle, it's a huge ego and pocket rocket disarmer. Can't you cuddle with one of the hundred stuffed animals in her room?
PLUS: Find out What His Cuddling Position Says About Him

4. What you should never say: "It happens to everyone."
What he's saying to himself: It does happen to everyone. But men don't give a damn about the rest of the world; men only care about the fact that we couldn't get our fun bone to join the party.


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Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.