12-break-up_sm.jpgMy dears, a fellow Smitten reader needs our help! She wants to know how to break up with her boyfriend nicely. (Is that even possible?)
Weigh in, after the jump...
Here's our lovely reader's story...
My relationship isn't working out. The guy and I are pretty different people, and I feel like we no longer have a connection. He can be clingy and needy, and he's taking our relationship WAAAY more seriously than I am (as in, planning his future around us). On top of that, we live in different cities, 45 minutes away from each other.
I want to break up with him. The thing is, I have no idea how to do it! I'm almost 23 and I've never broken up with anyone. I was in one previous relationship, and when my last boyfriend dumped me, it went so horribly it still affects me to this day. How can I make this break-up a clean one, without seeming cruel or callous or bitchy? Is there even such a thing as a graceful break-up? How to console a friend after a bad break-up.
Here's my answer...
My dear reader, you are sweet to want to make this break-up as easy for your boyfriend as you can. It's always a tough situation, but there are definitely things you can do to make it easier...
First off, go somewhere private together, like your apartment or his house. (There's nothing worse than getting dumped in a restaurant, while you try to hide your teary eyes behind your water glass!)
Be kind and straightforward. Tell him that he's an amazing guy, but you don't feel the same connection anymore. My mom always says that no one can fault you for just being honest. Stick to your gut and be compassionate and strong, even if he cries, gets angry or asks you to reconsider.
Focus on the big picture. Tell him the general reasons why you can't be together, but spare him the gory details--like, he embarrasses you in front of your friends, his jokes are always cheesy, or (the real zinger) you're not attracted to him anymore. He doesn't need to know!
Finally, end it for good. Try not to call him, even if you're feeling lonely. Try not to email him. Take him off your facebook friend list. And definitely try not to hook up with him. It's impossible to get over someone if you're still seeing them all the time. Even if you want to be friends someday, you need a break. So cut off contact and stay strong!
Readers, how have you broken up with a guy in the past? How did you make the experience easier? On the flip side, have you ever had your heart stuck in a blender? Please share your thoughts!
Photo: Fetieby Joanna Goddard
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