Sometimes you find good advice about sex and relationships in the most unsuspecting places. In this case, the advice is from a Polish priest named Father Ksawery Knotz, whose book Seks jest Boski (Sex Is Divine) was released last month.
Huh? This definitely got my attention especially as a Jewish girl twice-married to Catholic guys. The book isn't currently available in English but portions of it are on an English version of Father Knotz's website The Act of Marriage. The site incorporates some of Father Knotz's views on sex within the confines of a Catholic marriage.
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I checked it out and here's what I found: other than being surprised at the graphic sexual descriptions, a lot of the ideas and views that Father Knotz espouses hold true for any marriage across all religions.
Here are 5 highlights from Father Knotz's site:
1. "A sexual act that is planned for the evening should have its emotional beginning in the morning."
Most definitely. He also writes that in preparing for a night of intimacy, the husband should help out with the housework so that the wife is not too tired. Right on, Father.
2. "Caressing is particularly important to prepare the wife to [sic] sexual act."
Yes, score another point for Father Knotz. He is one heck of a smart man. One can't underestimate the importance of foreplay.
3. "They [the couple] can use oral and manual stimulation."
I'm loving that he is touting oral sex as a part of the marital experience. And he writes that a man performing oral sex on his wife is as important as a wife doing the same. He's an equal opportunity kind of priest.
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4. "Being in a sexual fusion is of great importance when talking about refreshing and deepening matrimonial tie."
I like the way he puts that. Having sex, making love, or whatever you feel comfortable calling it, is one of the things that makes a marital relationship different than other relationships you may have. It makes you feel closer to your partner in a way that is unique to your relationship.
5. "Through his love for his wife, a husband is obliged (after reaching his own satisfaction) to caress wife's labia and clitoris till she reaches an orgasm."
Yes! This celibate man understands the differences in sexuality between men and women. Father Knotz goes on to describe a man's sexuality as dry leaves that burst into flames quickly but then go out very quickly. A woman's sexuality is described as being like the embers of slow burning coals.
Despite having a different religious belief, the only other thing I disagreed with Father Knotz on was the use of sexual aids, whether lubricants or sex toys. He writes that these things trivialize the experience. I think these things enhance both the experience and the relationship.
I still think he's pretty awesome.
Do you agree with Father Knotz's views on marital intimacy?
Image via Szansaspotkania.net
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