5 Habits of the Happiest Couples I Know

Those are great tips including 6 and 7 "get over it" and "don´t compare", I´ve been married for 10 years and something that works for me all the time is never taking him for granted and altouhg I know is hard with all the problems and stuff that goes on in a marriage, act like you did when you were dating, when you always wanted to look pretty for him, when you always wanted to surprise him with romantic things,tell him how much you love him all the time, and never forget why you choose him to spend the rest of your life together!

PeterB, just my opinion but it's a little far from the shore to decide you don't like to swim. And you sound a bit of a 'victim.'

Short of abuse, (verbal/physical/infidelity) I don't believe in divorce. But this isn't me, it's you and you're asking people YOU DON'T KNOW if you should stay in your marriage? How about you ask your wife? You know she'll talk.

You found out about the bit she did and stuck by her. She stuck by you when you 'took your lumps.' So there was something there at one point.

You don't mention it but have you two considered counseling? If it doesn't repair your relationship, it will help you come to the only, obvious decission in whether you should stay or go. The decission YOU arrive at, not the one somebody like me hands you.

please do write me

People need to be told this stuff? I always thought this was general common sense, apparently i was mistaken.

Been married 40+ years and the best thing I can add is to laugh everyday. We laugh at the silliest little things, like horrible puns or anything we can think of. The "get over it" or don't go to bed angry maybe difficult sometimes, but it is also important. Good luck to you all. Make an effort - it is well worth the reward!

nice tips, but i'll like to add a bit,

when ever he does anything that upsets u, pls, let him know and don't attach it to what he once did that, he either must have aplogised for or you did not let him know.

try as much as possible to minimize you outburst, coz he might miss your point.

i've learnt to start every discussion with a smile, no matter how upset i may be.

Heres my contribution...PLAY! FLIRT! and scrap the routine! It's too easy to become robots in life doing the same thing day after day, changing things up a little keeps the marriage from becoming boring

Hi.I agree with the 5 habits. Being married for 12 yrs and havin 4 children and a dog, you can get lost in everyday activities and leave your spouse on the back burner. What my husband and I do sometimes is light candles and set them by the tub while one takes a bath, or just plain cuddling. My husband will rub my back until I fall asleep. Every valentines Day is our weekend. We get a room @ The Dearborn Inn and we have chocolate covered strawberries, a bottle of champange, cheese & cracker snacks. The next morning breakfast. For us it's not just about the sex, but about the alone time, talking, reminising, taking time out to enjoy each other, and I tell you it has done wonders in our marriage.

Great advice, Dr. Arf. According to your research, I still have work to do with my mate... slowly but surely. Congratulations on a well-written article.

One I would add is: Spend time laughing together. I've been with my husband for over 7 years and we are more in love with every passing day. There is not a day that goes by that we don't joke with each other and just enjoy some good humor.

6. Surround yourself with couples that have good marriages. Happiness does rub off.

February - That would bug me also. Part of it is his age, probably. But part of it is he's sort of worshipping a false image. I don't mean it in a religious way, but in a mere "Hey, I'm the one I want you to worship" way. It's not really his fault. Media plays a HUGE part in men's fantasy lives. But honestly, either he needs to grow up or find someone who doesn't care about kind of infatuation. He'll find the relationship to not be as rich as the one he could have had with you, most likely. And look, I'm sure you do love him. But you're 20, right? Don't settle for less than you deserve. If you're thinking long term, is this the kind of thing you want in a marriage? Because what if it progresses to porn? Are you going to be okay with that? Just something to think about. I'm sure others will disagree with me and say I'm being a prude. I'll post about this topic for sure!

I have been reading the comments and the main thing that strikes me is the lack of education displayed. A lot have spelling errors and a lot just don't make sense as a sentence. What hope for the world if people can't even write cohesively.

I love #4. I believe that money is the root of all things evil. When we're broke we're happy, content to be at home snuggled in bed watching a movie. when we get a little ahead we start fighting over where the moeny went adn we shoulda done this and not that. it's not worth it to me. big fancy nights out are great!!! but you don't concentrate ont he one you love while you're out in a limo the way you do when your sprawled on the living room floor in front of the fireplace. I'm thankful I have someone around to be annoyed about my BAD habit of washing clothes, folding them and leaving them in the baskets......at least he's around to trip over my baskets!!!!!

I so agree with "another hockey fan" .. My husband and I have been togther for 2 years as well. At our ages 53 and 60, past divorce and drama with family, we are thankful each and everyday for the "little" things that we do for each other. I had never known what it was like to have dinner cooked, laundry done, house picked up until I married my special man. WOW! What a change of pace. I may joke that "how could any woman get rid of a man that cleans toilets and cooks dinner"..That little touch of the hand, kiss on the cheek, can I get you anything while I'm up,and the list goes on and on.

I think this is one of the most retarded posts on relationships I have ever seen! Half of it doesn't even make sense and focuses a lot on ranting and raving about her spouse.

Maybe this goes with Number 1, but just...be there. Really be there and in the moment for at least a few minutes every day. Put down the groceries and give (and receive) a real genuine hug and moment of connection. When you ask "how was your day?", really listen to the answer. And when your partner asks how your day was, really tell them a few things you did, not just, "oh, it was fine....". If we have nothing more exciting to share, my partner and I sometimes just tell each other what we had for lunch. Is it important that he knows I had a fruit cup and yogurt today? No, of course not. But the talk - those moments of catching up - really make me feel like I share a life with him, not just a home.

My personal secret to a (happy 18 years of) marriage is that my husband and I are best friends. When we disagree we realize it's best to have our own opinions without expecting the other to feel the same way...The old phrase, "agree to disagree" works.

Little things that my husband does for me mean a lot. A kind word, or the little notes he leaves, usually stating, "I love you". It's nice to hear it, feel it, and read it.

Absolutely! I completely agree. My husband always manages to say thank you for the laundry that I have done, but tends to ignore the three days worth of dishes I haven't put in the dishwasher just yet! I'm the happiest I've ever been and it mostly because I've accepted who I am and always have accepted him for who he is. Even when it's me doing everything for the kids when it's time for bed and he's been playing his new video game since he got home. However, I do have to be thankful, and I tell him so, when I looked fried and even though he's worked and driven with crazy people all day and then came home and did homework he says I'll make dinner you go take a bath.

This article forgot to mention the single best aphrodisiac/ relationship-saver in existence: DON'T HAVE KIDS. Yes, that IS an option! My wife and I chose that, and we have the best lifestyle of anyone we know. The church, the media, and most likely your family and peers all want you to believe that it's not a choice, but it is..look around you - how many parents look like they've slept in the last 3 days, had sex in the last 3 years, and spend the majority of their time joyful, financially secure, and not worrying about the modern dangers that lurk arond every turn? Also, the world food supply is on track to reach crisis levels by mid-century..you'd be doing a public service!!