5 Hot Tips On How To Be a Superdate in 2010

Ever wonder why some potential partners seem so fabulous when we begin dating them and then turn into total duds? First of all, people look so good at the beginning of relationships because they are putting on their best "game face". Secondly, we really WANT them to be that good. In fact, researchers often find that couples can be pretty good predictors about what ultimately breaks them up. It's not that couples totally ignore certain annoyances or issues as they present themselves, they just often allow the good to outweigh the bad when in a new relationship.

If you want to start off 2010 with a bang, here are a few of my top suggestions on becoming a superdate.

1. Time is a huge when it comes to the dating world. It is also a major player in nonverbal communication. If you set a time to meet, honor that. Don't give the other person the feeling that your time is more important than theirs. If you are someone who is chronically late, set the intention to be early. If you are running late, call them to let them know how late you are running. If you are late for a date, you run the chance they will interpret that as you just not being that into them.
   
2. Don't be afraid to show the real you. Like a job interview, people going on the first date (or two, or three!) are often nervous, stiff, and only talk when being asked a question. Feel free to be on your "good" behavior, but not at the expense of being the real you. For instance, say you plan on going to a nice restaurant for dinner that happens to be down the street from your favorite dive bar. Don't be afraid to suggest that you go there for an after dinner drink (hell, even offer to pay for it!). The point is to give the other person a glimpse into the "real" you. Don't drink alcohol? Not a problem! There are plenty of other options out there, just keep your mind open.
   
3. Become a body language expert! Learning body language can help you in so many ways other then dating; the work environment, family gatherings, and communicating with friends are just a few quick examples where knowing how to use and interpret body language can change your life. When getting to know someone, be aware of the signals they send you. Are they hanging on your every word, facing you head on when talking, or mirroring your body language when sitting across from you? If they are, they are showing you how connected and into you they are. These clues give both you and others that you two are--are you ready for this--a couple.
   
4. Learn to take some things at face value. I can't stress this one enough. People know themselves better then anyone else in the world. If they say they are "not ready for a relationship", "not ready to settle down", "don't want kids", or "don't want to get married", for the love of god, believe them. Please don't stick around believing you will be the one that magically changes them into wanting the same things you do. Trust me….no trust THEM and move on.
   
5. Practice active listening. Have you ever met someone who when talking to them makes you feel like the most important person in the world? If you ever have, you know that feeling is amazing. They might not be the most influential or even beautiful person, but they make you feel like there is no one else in the universe they would rather be talking to then you. Those people are amazing active listeners! Give your date the room to speak without always interrupting them or, more importantly, finishing their sentence. Try it. It gives us a great excuse to get out of our heads for a little while and the opportunity to really focus on someone else. Don't be surprised if you end up on a lot more dates because you begin to see the power of active listening.

Catherine Toyooka is the founder of Catherine Coaches , a unique business offering both confidential and professional dating and sex coaching assistance to individuals living in Silicon Valley and San Francisco . Catherine is also a sex educator with Good Vibrations and travels the world as a sexuality speaker . For more information on Catherine and to get a complete list of her services, please visit http://www.catherinecoaches.com .