Girl On Computer
Online dating can a cruel and brutal world. For men, it is survival of the fittest, as men bombard women with more first emails than they could ever respond to in a hundred years.
Only the strong survive, while the rest of us are left on the sidelines, often wondering what is wrong with us, and why we can't seem to attract women online.
Talk about depressing; especially for those of us that have turned to online dating as our last hope of meeting someone special.
Well there is good news. If you are a man and have been unsuccessful with online dating, odds are that this lack of results has absolutely nothing to do with who you are as a person. Almost all have us have what it takes to succeed. The problem lies within the approach that we are taking.
We must know the keys to attracting women if we want to emerge ahead of the pack and push to the forefront of men who receive responses. In order to do so, first we must know what we are doing wrong!
Let's take a look at 5 reasons you are not attracting women online:
1. You are complimenting women based on their looks.
Every woman loves to feel beautiful. But there is a time and place for this. On a first date this is fine if done properly, however, there is no place for this in a first email.
Many men write first emails that tell women how beautiful they are, gushing over what they look like. This is not the appropriate place for these types of compliments. They often come across as creepy, unoriginal, and cause women to think that we are only after one thing. In a worst case scenario, we will also appear completely desperate.
2. You are asking way too many questions in a first email.
This is a big mistake. For starters, women are not going to want to spend fifteen minutes responding to an email. They have better things to do!
But more importantly, asking too many questions comes across as us being overly excited and can unintentionally create the illusion that we are desperate. We want to seem casual, as if we are men that are used to talking to different women all the time, and most importantly, come across as if we have a life outside of online dating!
3. You are making small talk instead of being interesting.
Small talk is an online dating killer. Beautiful women can get away with asking boring questions because men tend to respond no matter what if they are attracted a woman. But women are mainly attracted to men based on internal qualities. We need to attract women by reflecting the strongest aspects of our personalities. When we ask boring questions, we are communicating that we are boring as well.
4. You are using language that makes you come across as weak, needy, or lonely.
Let's take a look at an example of a needy sentence, versus a strong and confident sentence.
Needy: I hope to hear from you soon.
Strong: I'll talk to you soon.
One sends the signal that we are already preparing for rejection. One assumes that we will have success.
Needy: I'm looking for a girl who is smart, fun, and pretty.
Strong: The perfect girl for me is smart, fun, and pretty.
One projects the image that we are doing all the chasing and hope to find someone. The second example projects the image that we are the ones who are choosing and being selective.
Get into the habit using your words in ways that come across as strong and confident. Remember, online we only have the power of the written word. We must take advantage of it and avoid appearing desperate at all costs! Appearing desperate is just about the biggest turnoff there is.
5. Your photo gallery does not represent who you fully are.
Your photo gallery should tell a story of who you are. Women are going to look at your online dating profile and picture what its like to be with you, hang out with you, and possibly even have a future with you, all within a matter of seconds. We want to show and diversify our pictures as much as possible to provide women with a complete story of who we are, and what we are all about. Consider your photo galleries as a snap shot of your life.
Are you representing yourself in ways that are exciting and interesting? Or are you representing yourself terribly by taking pictures in front of a bathroom mirror or computer.
Remember, a picture is worth a thousand words.
There you have it. Five reasons you may not be attracting women online. Although, make no mistake about it; I could have went on for pages with this list. The important thing to keep in mind is that we have to be interesting and give women a reason to respond to our emails. Go over your profile and recent emails and ask yourself, am I someone I would want to talk to if I was a woman?
Try to assess how you come across, and work from there doing everything you can to reveal your best self. Good luck!
Joshua Pompey currently writes online dating advice for men all over the world. You can find more free information by visiting GetREALDates online dating advice or GetREALDates online dating tips. And don't forget to check out Joshua Pompey's exclusive profile writing service!
Girl On Computer