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YOUR FRIENDS' ACTIVITY

    5 Reasons Why He Didn't Call

    By April Daniels Hussar, SELF magazine


    It's happened to all of us. The date goes perfectly -- he's cute, he laughs at your jokes and you're even having a good hair day. The stars have aligned ... you can't wait for the next date! And then ... nothing. Zip, nada, zilch. He doesn't call you again. Why?

    A new online service called WotWentWrong.com provides a way for you to get feedback from a date who never reappeared, or a new romance that died without explanation just as you thought things were getting good. To use their service, you register, fill out a form with the specific info you're looking for, and it gets sent to your delinquent date. He or she can then reply through the site without having to contact you. Closure, anyone?


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    Let's face it, most of us are not going to send a form to the guy who dissed us. But we still want to know ... why didn't he call? Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure, says there are usually five common reasons behind his failure to make post-date contact:


    1. He's scared ... that you wanted too much too soon. Perhaps he senses you were mentally picking out china patterns?

    2. He's scared ... of your AWESOMENESS. No, seriously. Levine says it's possible "he really likes you and got so freaked out that you may be someone he's not ready for that he bailed before anything could really begin." And do you really want to date a baby? No.

    3. He's just not into you. Maybe he wasn't attracted to you, plain and simple, or was turned off by something you did. "It sounds harsh," says Levine, "but there are plenty of things about men that make us feel the same way." (Can't get him off your mind? The Ex-App blocks you from calling or texting him, so you don't lapse into booze-fueled stalking/groveling.)


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    4. He just wanted to hook up (whether you did or not) and nothing more. If a guy is only out for one thing, it doesn't matter how fabulous you are -- if he gets it or doesn't get it -- he's on to the next option.

    5. Freak accident! Seriously. "On occasion, sometimes things happen for reasons that don't have anything to do with you," says Levine. Maybe he got back together with his ex or had a family emergency. These things happen!


    "The reality is if a guy flakes out for whatever reason -- stands you up, doesn't call, etc. -- take it as a red flag in the sense that it may hurt a little now, but it's better than heartbreak later," Levine says. "Then, get back out there so you can meet your match!"

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    11 comments

    • Andrea  •  Boynton Beach, Florida  •  3 months ago
      1. He lost your number; 2. His cell phone broke; 3. He was abducted by aliens; 4. He liked you, but didn't LIKE you; and 5. He is "swamped" with work (my personal favorite lol). Happy dating everyone :).
      • Frank 3 months ago
        You forgot the extra LIKE like you in #4. And if its a freak accident, they can happen, I think he would try to get in touch with you to explain the circumstances, if he has any class. Or the freak accident concerned his phone and he doesn't have your number anymore. {shrug} Life is usually stranger than fiction.
      • Andrea 3 months ago
        LOL. Frustrated English Professor are we? ;). Trust me, men and I assume women come up with the lamest excuses for why they dropped off the planet.
      • Frank 3 months ago
        Nope. Not English and not a prof. Just staff. And you are right about lame excuses :)
    • John Smith  •  3 months ago
      Come on, be HONEST here!

      Would YOU really call any woman who had a phone shaped like big red lips?

      "Hey, Maxwell Smart had a phone shaped like a shoe, so why not?" you ask.
      • Moatcat 3 months ago
        How about a phone shaped like a '79 Corvette that goes "beep-beep-beep" when somebody calls (that's what I have)?
      • Country 3 months ago
        I'd like to see that Moatcat... Growing up I had a strawberry shortcake phone. Moatcat, can I call you catdaddy?
      • Moatcat 3 months ago
        Country --"Catdaddy"...I like that....yes, you can call me "catdaddy" (did you know "MOATCAT" stands for "Morals Of A TomCAT"? I used to discourage female co-workers from "fixing me up" by saying that's what I had--it worked).
    • Maria  •  Diamond Bar, California  •  3 months ago
      I think calling someone has deal with friendship only, nothing deal with the love relationship. If someone does not want to call me, I think that person does not want to be my friend only. I think it is pleasure for me if my ex does not call me.
    • John Smith  •  3 months ago
      I never lie to women, or give them any false hopes.

      For one thing, I only do fetish sex, not plain intercourse. That means I have to be able to come right out and tell you what I want and what to expect. I'm definitely not one of those shy, nervous guys who gets all figetey when it comes time to kiss goodnight.

      If we go out on a date, and I have no intention of ever seeing you again, then I will NOT tell you that I will contact you again. If you are the one to ask for another date, I will tell you WHY I'm not interested. Usually, it's your crazy personality that is to blame.

      "You come off as this mean, psycho, angry person. You talk about all this hate for your ex, and how you stuck around and allowed him to abuse you. I look exclusively for kind, sweet, loving women, who have the wide-eyed innocence of a child. And, you are NOTHING at all like that. Now, I'll pretty much have sex with any woman, regardless of what she looks like. But, you are just a nasty, hateful person. There's no way I want to waste my time slaving over your body and giving you any pleasure. In fact, if we spent time together, I would probably end up smacking you too, just like the last man did. So no, I have absolutely ZERO interest here. Why do you think I had the waitress bring me a to-go box for the rest of my food? I wanted to cut my losses here and move on immediately."

      I actually said those exact words to a woman, many years ago. And, I would say them again, to anyone else who behaved the way she did.

      And, as for having sex once and then losing all interest in you, that never happens with me. If you have sex, then you WILL get an invitation to come back for more sex, or possibly a relationship as well. Simple as that.

      Brutally honest. Both with women and with myself. I really don't know any other way to be.

      I would rather help you, by letting you know what is wrong, AND how to correct it, rather than having you go away smoothly and never telling you what is the matter. I provide the vital information that you need to know, so you can be better in life. Or at least, to understand what people object to in your behavior.

      I simply do not understand why all men can't be honest with women. Lack of concern for others, I guess. They don't realize how some women sit there and wonder what went wrong, and why you are no longer interested. It undermines their self-esteem, sometimes, and makes them wonder if they are not good enough. Women already have it hard in dating, so I can't see any reason to make their situation any worse by offering them false hopes.
      • A Yahoo! User 3 months ago
        I respect the honesty. Wish more men had your insight.
      • John Smith 3 months ago
        Blowing off a women without a word is NEVER good, unless she's some psycho crazy who you need to get away from.

        If she went on a date with you, then you can at least explain to her what your feelings are about it.

        "You seemed nice, but the conversation was awkward. I asked questions and tried to get you to talk about yourself, but your answers were mostly one-word. So, I don't see any real love connection here at all. Are you interested at all? Perhaps you are just not feeling well, or maybe you are just shy. Tell me what you are thinking. Any interest?"

        You see, I don't lie and say that I will call. I ask for her feelings and give her a chance to let me know her intentions. Sometimes, people have an off day. Later, they feel more comfortable and the whole date is much better.

        But, a guy will never know this if he just send her away and never calls again.
      • Alyxandrea Baldwin 3 months ago
        yeah i shure wish there were more like you
    • Country  •  New York, New York  •  3 months ago
      Do some people really get this hung up on why a person didn't call after a date, especially ONE date like this author is suggesting? Life is going to go on. With, or without them... If they have so little respect for you that they're not going to do something as simple as call. Why sit and analyze the situation, second guessing yourself, asking "what I do wrong?" Emergencies are different. But I'm talking when they're just blowing you off. Get it together, and move on.
      • Andrea 3 months ago
        Country - You had me laughing. I had a two and a half year relationship with a man who called me...drum roll please...5x lol. That was very irritating. I don't like to have all my conversations via text ;).
      • swimmer 3 months ago
        Well if it keeps happening over and over again, you do start to wonder if it's you and if there is something wrong with you. Rejection stinks.
      • A Yahoo! User 3 months ago
        If it keeps happening over and over you should wonder about your behavior. Then the problem becomes finding someone honest enough to say you should work on x, y, and z. I don't know why some people are such wimps that they can't be honest, even in a constructive way.
    • George Jetson  •  3 months ago
      sorry I was having sex and I lost track of time.
    • George Jetson  •  3 months ago
      his best friend with benefits. wanted to share benefits
    • The Prisoner  •  3 months ago
      Sometimes you just don't want to. Sorry, its as easy as that. You go out, things went well but sometimes you just don't want to. Happened to me a couple of times, and the reverse it true as well. Went out with a couple of women, and then called them and nothing. Jeez, if you're going to analyze everything, you aren't living.
    • NVRSADI  •  3 months ago
      #6 - Because he knows dating is the biggest scam around (aside from Obama) and if he goes out on another date you will begin the agonizing reel-in process fully equipped with game playing, tests, guilt trips and every other pyscho woman #$%$ you can throw at him. He just wants to rock it and leave
    • kokoro  •  Maribor, Slovenia  •  3 months ago
      Who cares if he doesn't call. Just think, he may be doing you a favor. If he's not into me, he'd better not be wasting my time.
    • Mike  •  Mt Prospect, Illinois  •  3 months ago
      well I'm guilty of this also! the truth is I just wasn't into you and didn't want to be mean, the other time was I had sex with a girl it was alright but all I could think of is that girl was a ho! She barely knew me and I had her panties on her head! can't turn a ho into a house wife!
      • Soylent Green 3 months ago
        You're nasty for having sex with a woman you barely knew. Can't turn a pig into a husband. So why buy the pig if all you want is the sausage.
      • swimmer 3 months ago
        well if you had sex with her and barely knew her, what does that make you? i'd say a ho too!! judge much? love how some men still have this double standard!! you do realize it's 2012 don't you? if you are looking for a virgin, good luck!! i don't think they exist anymore. can't turn a sow's ear into a silk purse.
      • Andrea 3 months ago
        Mike, Mike, Mike - I agree about not hurting someone's feelings, but don't ever tell someone you're going to call and then don't...it makes you look bad. As far as "...turn a ho into a house wife!" well it takes two to tango, so you shouldn't brand her with an "A" if you're not willing to wear the "A" too :).

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