by Scott Alden for HowAboutWe
If you're in the market for a serious relationship, then you know that finding one is not an exact science. The best place to start when you're looking for a girlfriend is to listen to what women actually say that they want.
The following five must-haves have been collected from various blogs, female friends and overheard conversations. Don't try to change your entire personality or act like someone you're not, but if you find that you consistently can't seal the deal, put a little energy toward acquiring the following things. (They're actually pretty easy.)1. A Real Bed
A futon mattress on the floor might be tolerable, but it's not exactly earning you any points. A frame, a box spring, a real mattress, and clean sheets apparently indicate that you've got your act together. Taking a quick trip to IKEA this weekend might help you more than a whole case of cheap cologne.
Related: 5 Bad Habits Women Have In Bed
2. A Decent Relationship With Your Mother
It may seem crazy, but many women will take the way that you talk about and behave toward your mother to be an indicator of how you will talk to them and treat them once the honeymoon period is over. This may or may not be true in actuality, but a bad attitude toward dear old mom is often considered to be a red flag, in either case.
Now, you may have legitimate reasons to be at odds with the woman who raised you, and you're entitled to your feelings. But your earnest complaints about her psychotic/manipulative/mean behavior is not first, second, or even third date material. Your potential girlfriend is likely to see it for herself if and when you make it to the "meeting the parents stage," anyway.
IMPORTANT: This doesn't mean you should go too crazy singing your mom's praises, either. From what I've heard, "mama's boy" is one of the reddest flags of all.
We're not even talking a "five year plan," or "a business plan," here. Just, you know, plans. Like having a bar in mind to go to after the concert. Or buying the tickets for the movie ahead of time, online. Spontaneity can be attractive, for sure, but "I don't know, what do you want to do?" are words that should never come out of your mouth if you want to seal the deal.
Related: 5 Perfectly Good Reasons You Might Be Single
4. More Than One Towel
You might be likely to dry off with a pair of sweatpants, in a pinch (Like I'm the only one who's ever done that? Come on.). Most women, however, appreciate an actual towel, post-shower. And they'd prefer it not to be the same ratty, threadbare one that you've been using for the last week. And if you have two extras available (one for their hair), that's the towel-owning equivalent of a weekend in Paris, from what I've been told.
Related: 11 Ways To Be Terrible At Sex
5. A Backbone
The first four items on the list are rendered meaningless without the fifth -- a backbone. There's a fine line between making an effort and bending over backwards. Don't cross it. The basic rule of thumb is -- if you know that she'd appreciate it, and it's easy enough for to do? Do it. That shows that you're neither selfish nor lazy. But if you start going out of your way to appease her every whim, that sends an entirely different message. If constantly foregoing your needs and desires for hers doesn't turn her off immediately, she's likely to resent you for it down the road.
This may be the difference between being a nice guy and a "nice guy." Be considerate and kind, but don't give up on your convictions. Apparently, women like that.