Don't Rush Into Dating If You Aren't Ready
By Patia Braithwaite for BounceBack.com
We're all happy that it's been six days since you last burst into tears in front of the DVR, but don't fire up your online dating profile just yet. Just because you aren't a mess, doesn't mean it's time to find someone new. So how do you know when it's time to date? Here are a few tips:
Related: Dating Again, You Ready?
1. You aren't afraid to be alone:
Often, we're so used to being with someone that we just want to fill the space to keep was from truly grieving our loss. This is a mistake. Take the time to remember what it feels like to be by yourself. Spend time with the sound of your own voice, and reconnect with your own thoughts and feelings. If you are comfortable and happy by yourself, you are probably ready to move forward.
2. You understand your role in why your relationship ended:
Every relationship is a lesson. This means every asshole boyfriend is actually a cosmic/spiritual teacher. Can you see past the pain to uncover the true lesson? If you are at a place where you are thankful for the lessons your ex taught you, you are ready to move on.
Related: Understanding the Unexplained Break Up
3. Your self-esteem comes from within:
If you are looking for hot guys (or gals) to boost your self-confidence, think again! Love is a battle field and expecting others to make you feel good is a recipe for PTSD. Don't date until you are centered enough to know that dates don't make or break you.
4. You've gone through the Bounce Back steps:
This might be a shameless plug, but the Bounce Back steps are an awesome way to deal with post break up pain: release the negative, embrace the positive, focus on you, bounce back and move forward!
5. You are at peace:
Does this mean your ex doesn't infuriate you? No. Does this mean some of the memories don't sting? Nope. Being at peace simply means that you accept what has happened and you are NOT STILL living in that moment. Once you acknowledge that this traumatic experience is behind you, once you have mental and emotional distance to know you can't change it, you are free to live and love in the present moment.
Related: It's Okay to be Okay
Ultimately, you'll know when it's time to move forward, but don't rush. Take the time to heal so that history doesn't repeat itself. And don't worry, even if Pat Benatar is right and love is a battle field, always remember that you, my dear, are a survivor. :-)
For more post-break up positivity, check out Patia Braithwaite blog: www.menmyselfandgod.com
BounceBack.com helps people find happiness in the right relationship. If you've been through a breakup, divorce, or just haven't been able to find happiness in your love life, BounceBack is a place to tell your story, get community support and advice from experts, and find the confidence and strength you need to move forward. Check out our Facebook page.
More articles on BounceBack.com:
What Do You Do With His Stuff?
When It Comes to Flirting, Are We Still Kids At Heart?
Breaking Up is Hard to Do; Don't Let Debt Make It Worse
When You Know It's Time to Go, Stand By Your Decision
How to Cope When Everyone You Know is Getting Married