I used to be the biggest nag ever. This is why I learned to stop.
Stop nagging your man. Really. The Wall Street Journal recently claimed that nagging - which the WSJ defines as "the interaction in which one person repeatedly makes a request, the other person repeatedly ignores it and both become increasingly annoyed" - is the biggest marriage killer and likely to lead to divorce. Yikes!
I used to be the biggest nag ever, constantly trailing behind my fiancé, repeatedly telling him to wash the dishes, mop the floor, put his clothes away, etc. He listened less than half the time. After I consciously made the effort to stop, I found that my relationship drastically improved and my guy and I were much happier and closer than ever. So why does this common issue wreak such havoc on otherwise healthy relationships?
1. It makes him feel like you're mothering him, which can lead to resentment and irritation. If your mom's the nagging type, you know how annoying this is! You don't want to turn your guy into a rebellious teen.
2. It makes you feel unheard and irrelevant, especially if your repeated requests often go ignored. According to the WSJ, women are more likely to nag largely because they are conditioned to feel more responsible for managing home life. If nagging isn't making your man listen, try a different approach.
3. Arguments become about the nagging, rather than the real underlying issues, such as trust (yours) and responsibility (his). Instead of making him your enemy, see his side and help him see yours. Maybe he's overworked and stressed, or maybe you're juggling too many chores and need help. Communicate with each other!
4. Nagging can cause both parties to question the relationship and make them wary of seeing each other. Instead of being happy and looking forward to each other's company, you see the other person as a bother who just doesn't understand. That sounds toxic to me!
5. Nagging sucks the fun out of your lives together. Just imagine the amount of time and energy expended on nagging and arguing about nagging - wouldn't you rather have a nice, cozy dinner with your guy?
Have you or your partner ever had a problem with nagging?
Written by Mona Lisa Macalino for YourTango.com.
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