woman saying shhWhite lies -- we all tell them. It helps keep the peace, which in turn keeps us sane(ish). Big lies are bad though. They ruin people and relationships. I've been victim and culprit and it's about as awful as not telling your husband that there are 3,000 fire ants in the patch of sand he is about to sit on while at the nude beach just to see his reaction. Who would do such a thing? Bad people, that's who. Lying is what bad people do -- or people who are (hopefully) temporarily under the influence of bad. It's just lame.
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But little white lies with cherries on top are like mystical unicorns with pink manes. Kind of harmless. Potentially dangerous (that horn is pointy!), but if treated delicately and used sparingly, they can make rainbows appear and everyone keeps on smiling. Here are 50 lies that are okay to tell your husband. Sort of. Because overuse is bad, you shouldn't be doing this kind of lying all the time. Once in a unicorn sighting. Except #29 and #41. Those lies are sacred.
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- Cookies? What cookies? We finished those last week.
- Don't wear that shirt. It makes you look too sexy. Wear it only for me.
- I spent that last $20 on groceries.
- Your mom called but I was too busy with the kids to pick up. Can you call her back?
- My dad loves the gift you gave him.
- How does this look on me? Be honest. I won't get upset.
- I have to go to the bathroom; can you watch the kids for a few minutes?
- Saturday is the only day my friend can get together.
- I feel stinky so that's why I'm not in the mood for sex.
- I love your beer belly.
- There's nothing to eat -- we'll have to get take-out.
- I have a headache.
- I really like your sister.
- I bought this outfit on sale.
- I really love the gift your mom gave me.
- Dinner at your parents'? Sounds perfect!
- I had a really stressful and busy day, can you take care of that for me?
- I have a paper cut, can you wash the dishes?
- That beautiful top you bought me ripped so I had to throw it out.
- I didn't have time to go to the grocery store today since I was too busy. I'll need you to go for us.
- I didn't hear the phone ring when you called.
- I'm not mad at you; it's just my hormones.
- Nothing is wrong, I swear.
- You are absolutely right.
- That's a great idea!
- I can't ever clean up the cat litter box because I'm allergic to it.
- Do you want dessert? No? Oh me neither.
- Yes! I mailed that credit card payment last week.
- I know I didn't throw it away.
- I love your cooking.
- Yes, I forgive you.
- Case closed! We never have to bring this argument up again.
- I have never once thought of my ex.
- You are more handsome than him.
- No, I don't want another baby either.
- Yes, I had an orgasm.
- I promise I won't tell my friends about our fight.
- Oh your friend had a party? The invitation must have gotten lost in the mail.
- I didn't watch that Netflix movie without you.
- It's okay. It happens to all guys.
- You're the best I ever had.
- The doctor said I can eat that sometimes.
- I don't care what you think.
- I wasn't on Facebook all day.
- I'll start on that tomorrow.
- I'm not jealous of my friend.
- The kids missed you.
- I hated sleeping alone while you were away.
- I must have not heard you when you said not to buy that.
- I'm tired.
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Be honest ... have you ever told one of these little white lies?
Image via Elizabeth Welsh/Flickr
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