Photo: Courtesy of safetysign.comAriane Marder, Glamour magazine
I've never been an avid follower of The Rules (or any rules for that matter when it comes to love,) but the past being the damn good teacher that it is has taught me a few dating mistakes that I don't want to repeat. You live, love, and you learn, right? I friggin' hope so. Here are six dating habits to stop immediately if you want a happy long-term relationship:
Dating Mistake 1. Sleeping with your ex
It could be that you're hoping to get him back or you're just filling in the gap while you wait for someone new to come along. Nooooo. Stop now! I suck at sex with someone I once loved (or worse, way worse, am still in love with!). As much as it seems like a good idea to keep you and your ex connected, we all know dudes and girls react to sex differently. Most importantly, it puts you in a holding pattern where you're not on the lookout for potential admirers.
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Dating Mistake 2. Being the one who plans all the dates
At the beginning, see what he brings to the table. Let him show his creativity and how thoughtful he can be. As strong, independent ladies who know what we want, it can be hard to just let things unravel in their own time. I know this sounds kind of archaic, but letting the guy take control of the date-planning channels his hunter instinct and let's him woo you-on his own terms.
Dating Mistake 3. Saying yes to last-minute dates
OK, this is one of The Rules rules that I believe in. (Don't worry, I don't suggest following it by the book.) Honestly, I'm all about spontaneity, but at the beginning, not being so available keeps you centered and not in danger of becoming his beck-and-call girl.
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Dating Mistake 4. Losing yourself in the other person
Ugh. It happens. You get so excited about someone that you start thinking about the future and forgetting your own goals. But nothing is more attractive than a woman who has her life together and isn't totally dependent on the relationship to keep her happy. Even if you are in love, the relationship won't last if you neglect your own needs.
Dating Mistake 5. Trying to change him
Unless he's ready and willing to make some interior alterations, then you can't bank on him changing any behaviors you don't agree with. In most cases, what you see is what you get, and the more you try and change him, the better chance he's gonna go ghost on you. Or you'll get fed up and move on.
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Dating Mistake 6. Playing (head) games
Save the role play for the bedroom. Stay true to who you are. Any manipulation strategies you invoke in the beginning will just poison your interaction from the get-go. Just be you. And if he's not down with that then he's not long-term material anyway.
What do you guys think? Do you agree or disagree with any of the above? Any ones to add? Have you made any dating mistakes you want to share? (Please!!)