I'm not the best at what most people would consider traditional "flirting." Neither the giggly girl thing nor the Jessica Rabbit sultry siren thing has ever felt right on me, so my default flirting mode is to basically to make wisecracks and tease my crush object mercilessly (I'm like a grade-school boy that way). Sure, I'll inch closer during the evening, make direct eye contact, maybe even go so far as to initiate some casual touching (the forearm or the shoulder), but I think what I'm missing is a physical component to my flirting. I think that's why I found some of the advice in this article - 53 Ways to Look and Feel Sexier - so interesting.
Normally, I might think tips like these are too coy, but they're fun to experiment with if you don't take them too seriously. And if you're subtle about it, they work - because (as the author points out) they're just meant to make you feel sexy doing them, and when you feel sexy, you project sexy: "Just moving, talking and thinking in a slightly more erotically charged way is all it takes to feel spectacularly sexy. Here, we offer a slew of little tricks guaranteed to bring out your inner vixen."
I've done the first move to men across crowded bars, and invariably, they'll head over to chat me up. My friend Maria dubbed the move "The Care Bear Stare," and warned me to use it sparingly. An accidental Care Bear Stare, and you won't be able to get rid of an unwanted suitor all night. The 4th one down in particular seems good for people in relationships:
- Give him the up gaze: Tilt your head down, then ever so coyly bring your eyes up to look at him, as though you were trying to peek through your top lashes. The movement screams "Come and get me!"
- Lean forward and "accidentally" give him a peek of your cleavage down your top. Or lift up your skirt to scratch an imaginary itch on your thigh. Not only does seeing these sexy previews put thoughts in his head, but knowing he's watching you - and thoroughly admiring the view - will make you feel like the only woman on earth.
- Eat dessert while looking into his eyes. Have you ever noticed the way you enjoy something decadent, like a piece of cake, mousse or rich dark-chocolate truffles? It's certainly not the same way you down a turkey club. You use your tongue, your lips and your sense of smell to relish every bite. It makes you feel indulgent and luxurious, and the way you show that pure pleasure as you gaze blissfully into his eyes is a very sexy sight for him.
- Get him in hot pursuit. There's no bigger libido boost than when your guy works to seduce you. And when you've been settled for a while, that cat-and-mouse chase has a way of disappearing. To get him on the hunt, just act a little distant (say, curling up on the couch with a book). When he strokes your back or goes in for a kiss on your neck, playfully swat away his advances.
- Show off your goods with a cat stretch. While he's watching you, arch your back so your butt sticks out seductively, lengthen your arms up over your head so your exposed stomach is pulled taut and reach for the heavens: It's invigorating...and titillating.
- Inch into his personal space. You'll create an electric buzz between the two of you. Just hold your conversation about a foot closer than you normally would. You'll soon find that you can't finish your sentences, because you're both so focused on that surging sexual energy.
What about you? Would you try any of these moves? Any flirty moves you've patented? I'd love to hear some more real-world strategies.
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