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    6 Signs He's a Serial Dater

    By Ariane Marder, Glamour magazine

    The serial dater acts like dating is his job. Apparently online dating sites are chock full of these peeps. I wouldn't know; I was too busy seeking these guys out in real life. I like to refer to it as The Dark Period Called My Twenties.

    Serial daters are never ready to settle down. They like the chase, and once they have you in their web (or bed), then BAM, they're out like proverbial trout.


    See more: The Top 10 Ways to Wake Up Prettier


    Here are 6 signs to be on the lookout for:

    1. He's a bachelor for life. He's Clooney-esque, but likely not as good looking. The longest relationship he's had is two years, and then he breaks it off using some lame excuse that wouldn't hold up at the post office.

    2. He charms the panties off of you--literally. As in, once you sleep with him, he's not as "into" you as he once was. Even coffee together the next morning takes on a dark pallor.

    3. His eyes gloss over when you talk about yourself or your interests. He would rather keep the conversation focused on what matters: him. If he talks about himself in the third person, just run.


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    4. He makes empty promises that he can't keep. It's not that he has to work on a big project, it's that he'd rather go out with the girl he met last night.

    5. Work is everything to him. It defines him. He says things like, "I'm gonna be huge," and "Gotta make that money."

    6. After a few dates, he'll start talking about how effed up he is. And how he thinks he may be depressed or confused. You think. "Poor guy, I can help." I like to think of this as preparing for his grand exit. It's really just another way of saying it's not you, it's me. And, yeah, no kidding it's not me.


    Note: I can't tell if writing this post has made me feel more angry or stupid. Either way, believe me when I tell you to avoid these guys at all costs. Unless of course, you need material. Then, by all means, do what you need to do.

    Anyone know a guy like this? Have you ever dated a serial dater? What about online? Has anyone successfully tamed one?

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    39 comments

    • justaguy  •  3 months ago
      I don't get #1 at all. Isn't everyone a 'bachelor for life" until they get married? How many unmarried guys have had a relationship with one woman that lasted more than two years? I know that I certainly didn't -- if I had one that lasted that long, I probably would have married her. If you are willing to dismiss as a 'serial dater' anyone who never had a relationship that lasted longer than 2 years, you're not going to have too many relationships yourself...
      • Biscuit 3 months ago
        That made sense. I only dated my husband two years.
      • Tom 3 months ago
        well bachelor for life is a person who has "no intention of ever getting married". George Clooney would fit that bill as he dates but said he would never get married.
      • Stiga 3 months ago
        agree with Tom's definition. Although George Clooney was married around 20 years ago, so I guess he really means he doesn't ever want to be married again.
    • Andrea  •  Boynton Beach, Florida  •  3 months ago
      My guy friend told me, "If a guy tells you something about his personality BELIEVE it. If you listen closely a man will tell you exactly who he is." After he said that I thought about my failed relationships and my friend was dead on lol.
      • Frank 3 months ago
        Amazing how that happens.
      • Andrea 3 months ago
        Frank - I'm stubborn, so I like to learn from my own mistakes. That's why it takes me a lot longer than others to catch on lol.
      • Stiga 3 months ago
        Andrea, I like your open and honest comments, and how you often stick on an "lol" after mentioning difficult or painful personal observations about yourself. I guess if we can't laugh a bit about our troubles, we'll just cry instead...
    • George Jetson  •  3 months ago
      what; no matter what i say 1 person will agree. today i am peter pan. tomorrow not even my hair dresser knows. for the pete of sake. I didn't grow up my legs just got longer...and by the way i do have pretty legs.
      • Country 3 months ago
        Hairdresser? Most men would say barber. You get your eyebrows plucked too George? Not that it's a problem.. (Grabs lotion for George's legs)
      • George Jetson 3 months ago
        country;eyebrows plucked, no that hurts and I don't know how to paint them back on...maybe if I wear overalls
      • Country 3 months ago
        lol Overalls! (getting excited)
    • Planner  •  3 months ago
      Women who are worthy of capture, get taken early. What is left to date? The "also ran's! If all the lady comments would address the real situation it would help but pointing out the guy's problem doesn't help you. Be classy, don't be nasty. Don't fall into bed with us the first date. Don't talk like trash, act like a ho and dress like a sl#$. Don't look at us to solve your "security issues" , secure yourself. Get on the pill if you must but don't just showed up and put out THEN expect us to marry you.
    • David L  •  Miami, Florida  •  3 months ago
      In a female's head, a man who is single and has a "dating" life is referred to as a "serial dater." But the female who goes on numerous dates because she claims she hasn't found Mr. Right yet, is just the unfortunate creature who is lost and can't find her way.
    • David L  •  Miami, Florida  •  3 months ago
      "1. He's a bachelor for life. He's Clooney-esque, but likely not as good looking."

      So I take it if he was as "attractive" as Clooney, then it would be Ok?...
      • Doug S 3 months ago
        Well, if he's as rich, too, anyway.
    • ler  •  3 months ago
      Just saw a V-Day article on this site that said that 81% of women thought that a men shouldn't be spoiled on V-Day, just women. Doesn't that really say it all.

      Marriage is supposed to be about two people. Instead, it's about the woman and fulfilling her deluded vision of the fairy tale marriages she's grown up watching where she is always the center of attention.
    • Terrell W  •  Jacksonville, Florida  •  3 months ago
      Okay kiddies, here's the truth. If you are between the ages of 17 to 33, you are SUPPOSED to serial date. The reason is; YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE YET!!!!! The reason most marriages fail is because you don't have a clue as to who you are gonna be in 6 months or 2 years. Your needs [both men & women] change constantly. Who you are is based on what you're exposed to. The more new things you discover about the world around you, the more you discover about yourself. It's hard to hold relationships with caterpillars when they keep turning into butterflies. Butterflies are beautiful but what if you only like caterpillars? The point is people change and to zero in on one person to love forever & ever in an ever changing life in an ever changing world is just WRONG. Give yourself a chance to develop the values and the personality that will stabilize a marriage and a family before you throw yourself into a bad situation depending on someone else to provide your happiness.
    • Lynnie  •  Bakersfield, California  •  3 months ago
      Hilarious article!!! LOVED that you put in there that online dating is ridiculous...
      • Joe 3 months ago
        I couldn't agree more!
    • LadyJane  •  Cleveland, Ohio  •  3 months ago
      Holy Crap! All 6 precisely fits the guy of my last tango--how sad! How perfect would it be if men had calling cards stating what they were up for and into? After all not all women want a relationship they could pair off and dismiss one another at will and ease.
      And those who are seeking a LTR could engage one another. Alas, its a perfectly imperfect life we must live and thus articles like these to make a lady like me feel like an idiot.
    • Silencio  •  3 months ago
      God...i miss dating...in my single days I was a serial dater..some Saturdays I would triple book....
    • Josh  •  Maidenhead, United Kingdom  •  3 months ago
      Another beautiful article by another #$%$ off woman that just wasn't as great as she thought she was. If multiple men are leaving you, the only prevalent detail in the relationships is you. But no. Blame us. Eat chocolate and listen to Adele whilst your doing it.
    • Kristy  •  Salem, Oregon  •  3 months ago
      So dated this guy once. I think they are also referred to as a BBD (bigger better deal) guy. The one they are with is never as good as what they anticipate the next relationship will be like. Good luck and good riddance!
    • The Prisoner  •  3 months ago
      Didn't get married until I was in my forties. Now I couldn't imagine being without my wife. All the women I dated when I was single couldn't equal her if you put them all together. I wasn't worried about it, btw all my friends who married young; all are on their second and some are even on their third marriages. Don't need to follow anyone else's heart but my own.
    • Joe  •  Chicago, Illinois  •  3 months ago
      5. Work is everything to him. It defines him. He says things like, "I'm gonna be huge," and "Gotta make that money."

      Ah, once again damned if you do and damned if you don't. So, I guess women would rather date some unemployed lazy person? I have to work long hours a lot of times. If I don't it doesn't get done and I lose my job. Frankly, I'd actually like to retire someday, and since social security will be dried up before I reach retirement guess what? Yeah, I need to work hard. Luckily for me, I love what I do unlike many people. Actually, I've gotten much more satisfaction from my work than any relationship I've ever been in.
    • Stephen  •  Atlanta, Georgia  •  3 months ago
      Well, I've dated a lot in my life, though I don't consider myself a serial dater. I chalk it up more to moving around a lot and some bad luck. Also, none of the criteria above fit me, though I have tended to be a workaholic at times.
    • NVRSADI  •  3 months ago
      Legalize weed and brothels and free mankind once and for all from hag nags
    • NVRSADI  •  3 months ago
      Total horses****. If a MAN in this country doesn't turn into a lap dog, marry a women and live in quiet desperation waiting for his fat wife to give him his next set of instructions, he's a 'serial dater', a player or something has to be wrong with him. Marriage is the exception not the rule Gents dont be a SUCKER
    • Guadalupe  •  Sacramento, California  •  3 months ago
      this is a stupid article. that was 3 minutes of my life i am never getting back!
    • John Smith  •  3 months ago
      I'm a serial dater and almost NONE of these reasons are true for me.

      I have never been married, although many women have hinted they were willing. The typical relationship with a really sweet and loving girl is one or two years. As much as five years, sometimes. With a plain, self-centered girl, it's only a week or a month, max.

      I always go back for more sex with the same girl. So, that part is wrong.

      I enjoy listening to women, so that's wrong.

      If we plan a date, I SHOW UP, so that is wrong.

      I often have no job, and I hate working. Wrong again.

      And, I don't think I have all sorts of problems, so that is wrong too.

      With me, the second cross word or harsh comment and I leave. I give you one free. But, on the second nasty comment, I suddenly don't feel that I'm being valued in the relationship anymore. And, about 3 minutes later, I'm telling you thanks and good luck, as you stand there with your mouth hanging open.

      Hot young girls half my age ALWAYS are shocked that any older man would actually leave them. Guys usually beg and plead and pay for everything that a hot girl needs or wants, and she gets spoiled by that. She thinks she has men wrapped around her little finger, just because of what she has between her legs. So, it's quite a shock that any man twice her age would walk out simply because she said a few cross words. I have to confess, I get a secret thrill out of putting a beautiful woman in her place, and showing her that I am the one in control. I think about all the poor fools who groveled at her knees and begged her to marry them. Then, here I am, tossing her aside like she has no more value to me.

      It feels GREAT to dump a beauty queen. Sweet revenge.

      But, average girls are ususally left bawling, and that is no fun.

      Still, THEY are the ones who started it, with some comment that shows they do not value me as much anymore.

      My thing is that women will treat me like a king, or else I will leave you and find some other woman who will treat me well. In return, I try to offer a women the same concern and appreciation that I expect, so it comes back to her, whatever she is willing to give to me!

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