By Charlotte Hilton Andersen, REDBOOK
What do you get when a Mormon, a Lutheran, a Catholic and a Muslim walk into a gym? As incongruous as it sounds, best friends! (And here you thought you were going to get the punchline to a wildly insensitive joke!) My three best girlfriends and I all met at our local YMCA. Ostensibly we were there to workout-all of us having new babies, had to drop the baby weight, right?-but in reality we were just there to escape our other kids for an hour thanks to the free childcare. Despite our obvious differences, we have discovered we are far more alike than we are similar. From diaper explosions to arguments with our husbands, this familiarity has lead to some serious hilarity. And because of this, as any woman knows, there are some things that only your best girlfriend can tell you:
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1. You look fat in those pants. Your husband wouldn't dare say it and even if he did, you probably wouldn't take it well coming from him. But the other day when my friend Krista looked me straight in the eye and said, "Never wear those pants again. Burn them when you get home." I nodded and did exactly what she said. (Okay, so I didn't burn them, but it makes such a better mental picture than me putting them in the Goodwill box, doesn't it?) Because I knew she was just looking out for me. Plus a girlfriend often knows just how to word it so that it's clear that it's not your adorable posterior that's the problem but those devilish pants.
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2. Stop being so sensitive. Leave it to another woman to understand the hormonal fluctuations that often lead to hurt feelings and tears. For me, I never noticed that I went through an "everyone hates me" phase every 28 days until my friend Megan pointed it out to me. (Seriously, how have I been menstruating for 15 years now and never noticed this pattern?)
3. You're not a bad mom. Only another mom could possibly understand the emotional roller coaster that is young motherhood. Knowing that my friends struggle with the black holes of need that are children as much as I do has been such a relief. Whereas before I would drown myself in guilt every time I screwed up, now I take heart in knowing that we've all had to put ourselves in time out. As my friend Allison pointed out, "There's a reason doors have locks on the inside."
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4. Eat the pie. Sisters in the diet wars, my girlfriends are all well-versed in calories and fat grams and sugar content and yet they know me well enough to know both what I like (team pie all the way!) and when I need to have a self-indulgent moment. Being the great foodies they are, they also know how to make me or find me fabulous desserts when I need them-another hallmark of a great girlfriend!
5. Step away from the bag of chocolate chips. At the same time, my girlfriends also know me well enough to know how I snarf handfuls of chocolate chips straight from the bag when I'm stressed out. I'm not eating them because I like them or even because I want to eat them, but because I'm on autopilot and they're the closest thing to a dopamine shot I've got. If my husband tried to pry the bag out of my fingers, he might get bitten, but my girls know when I need a good whine fest to just get off my chest.
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6. I'm bringing you dinner. Lots of people will say "call me if you need anything" but often our instinct as She-Ra women is to brush them off. Which is why my girlfriends don't ask, they tell me when and how they're going to help me out. Whether it's taking my kids for an afternoon so I can pack for a big trip (thanks Daria and Debbie!) or letting me call them to complain at any random time of day (I love you Laura!), my friends don't wait to be needed, they just look for what I need and step in-without having to be asked.
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Every woman needs a tight group of girlfriends. Men are awesome, but there are some things that only another girl will get. No one makes me laugh or cry harder (and feel better after that cry) than my girls. Tuesday, June 21, from 8 to 9 p.m. EST, REDBOOK magazine is hosting a Twitter party to celebrate the power of the girlfriends. Join us to tell us about your circle of girls and get some great ideas on hosting a girl's night in! Plus, ultimate girlfriend Brooke Burke will be on hand to answer questions. (Dear Brooke, how have you had four kids and are still rocking that silver bikini? Send me your genes please. Thanks, Charlotte.)
Follow @redbookmag and join the party with the hashtag #redbookhh to be eligible for the following prizes:
- Ray-Ban Sunglasses (value $145)
- Beauty Basket (value $100, includes must-have products for hair, skin and nails)
- Sephora Gift Card ($100)
- Williams-Sonoma Gift Card ($100)
- One of 25 magazine subscriptions
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