Don't let your past relationships ruin your future relationships. Let me rephrase it and say it again … Don't let one failed relationship keep you from having successful relationships in the future. There are a lot of things that you can not control in life (such as your ex.) But the one thing you can control are your actions. You have the power to take the very painful experience of a break-up and turn it into an opportunity for growth and into something that makes you stronger. Or, you can continue to be the victim by making decisions and taking actions that not only hurt you, but hurt others around you.
Having successful relationships takes work and requires you to make better decisions for your life. It's time to grow up! Check out 7 mistakes you better not make after a break-up. And I'll let you know which ones I regret doing.
1. Going back to a bad ex.
This person was no good for you back then, and the same holds true now. But, because you don't want to be alone, you'll settle for what's familiar, even it if is not good for you.
2. Mistaking "living" for "bad behavior."
After years and years of being in a bad relationship, it's time to live it up. You want to see the world, date, and get involved with activities. But now is not the time to lose your moral compass. Now is not the time to do something that you will end up regretting.
After spending most of my 20s in a bad relationship, drinking and messing around with men I had no business messing with was my initial cure for the pain I was experiencing. It did not numb the pain and caused more problems for me. Thank God I got it together.
3. Hurting others because you have been hurt.
You know the saying "Hurt people hurt people." Don't hurt other people because you have been hurt.
4. Losing your job.
Relationship pain can be excruciating. But, losing your job is only going to add to the pain. If you are truly distraught, then call out sick or ask for leave (following the proper procedures.) If you don't have leave, then you need to pull yourself together and take care of your responsibilities.
This is one I would never do. I would pull it together at work during the day and save that crying stuff for the night when I was home. I might have been out of my mind with pain ... but I was not crazy and my bills were going to get paid!
5. Getting into financial trouble.
Losing your job or "balling" out of control because you are free, are both things that will get you into financial trouble. Running out and buying new clothes, cars, and houses to prove a point to your ex will also get you into financial trouble.
6. Not making sure it is truly over.
This one is important for all couples, but especially important for married couples. Before you go off and do something that you cannot take back (like sleeping with someone else or getting someone pregnant), make sure your relationship is truly over by taking some time to really reflect on the relationship and work on the issues.
I had a friend who left her husband and started a relationship that only lasted for a few months. By the time she realized that she wanted her husband back, it was too late. Too much damage had been done.
7. Trying to avoid the pain.
Author and speaker Zara Green said it best: "Growth happens during the storms of life." Give yourself the opportunity to process the pain and move through this stage in life. There's growth on the other side of this pain.
-By Ronnie Tyler
For 13 more mistakes to avoid after a break-up, visit Babble!
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