by Gena Kaufman, Glamour
You just started dating someone new. It's perfect: you find everything he does to be adorable, you want to be around him all the time, and you hear music when he walks in a room. Um, you're annoying that crap out of everyone around you.
Last week I talked about being the single girl who sometimes can't talk about anything but being single. This week, I want to touch on the flipside. We've all been there: you're newly in love, and it's all you can think about. But we've also all been on the outside: watching our friend be all schmoopy and touchy-feely, and vowing to NEVER be that annoying ourselves. Until we meet that perfect guy, and then there we are, watching our friends not so subtly roll their eyes when they think we aren't looking. Here's how to avoid it:
1. Accept that you can't avoid it. Sorry, in a blissful new relationship, you just are going to be annoying. There's nothing you can do about it. But anyone who loves you will be really happy for you, even if they roll their eyes at you occasionally, and let you have your moment (as long as you go back to normal eventually). Enjoy it! How many times in your life do you get to feel like this? That said, there are ways not to be a jerk about it, so read on for some specifics.
2. Don't bail on plans. It's fine to be less available when you're in a new relationship. Your girls will understand that you need to spend many Saturday nights gazing into your fella's eyes over a long, candlelit dinner instead of tossing back shots with them. But make sure to commit to some time spent outside of your relationship, and once you've made plans with a friend, stick to them. No cancelling brunch because you just can't tear yourself out of bed. You can be busier, but a new relationship doesn't give you license to be rude.
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3. Avoid documenting and obsessing over every detail your entire relationship. If your friend hears you happily sigh, "Can you believe it's the seven week anniversary of the first time we kissed?" she will want to bang her head against a wall. (Feel free to smack a big one on your guy, in private, to celebrate though.)
4. Don't start placing a huge value on couple friends. While yes, having couple friends can be beneficial to a relationship, don't start making your single friends feel like they don't have a place in your life. Alert: couples and singles are all people who can hang out!
5. Dial back the "we" factor. Even if most of your latest updates involve your boyfriend, don't forget that you're still an individual person. Saying, "My boyfriend and I went to a movie the other night" is fine. Saying, "We really liked it but we missed the middle because we needed to go to the bathroom" is excessive. And gross.
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6. Don't assume your boyfriend is welcome everywhere you are. If someone is throwing a party, it's probably a given that you'll bring your man. But if your best friend asks you to come over to order takeout and watch a Real Housewives marathon, don't show up hand in hand with your guy.
7. Lay off the public touching. I know, I know, you can't keep your hands off each other. Lucky you! But think of it as a foreplay challenge and keep the PDA to an acceptable level. And consider the situation: Hand-holding isn't going to gross anyone out, but it can be exclusionary depending on the scenario. Once, a single girl went out on a Friday night with two couples who walked from place to place holding hands, leaving her to trail behind them alone with no one to talk to. She felt like a huge loser. Also, she was me. Please don't do that to your friends.
Got it? OK, go forth and be ooey-gooey with your guy. I'm jealous, of course!
Are you in that annoying new couple stage, you lucky thing you? Do you ever feel self-conscious that your friends are rolling their eyes at you? What irritating things do you think new couples do that they should lay off of?
More from Glamour:
30 Sex Tips Every Woman Should Consider
10 Things He's Thinking When You're Naked
50 Things Men Are Afraid to Ask For (But Really Want)
10 Things Girls Always Do in Movies and Never Do in Real Life
by Gena Kaufman, Glamour