8 Rules for Breaking Up

Wow question #2, you just described ME (grandmother and all). Except he DID break up with me a few weeks after the funeral. Real winner that one...but I'm better off without him!

these are so true, this guy that i was dating broke up with me via text, i still can recite his text verbatim... it was the most cowardly thing someone has ever done, i hate his guts and dont want him or his friends anywhere near me! guys definitely need to read ur articles, the guys i know need a LOT of help in courting!!

I was recently dumped over the phone, so that was craptastic. I say get up the balls to do it in person. It's not THAT hard.

I say get a friend to get your stuff back. No need to do that in person and cause one or the both of you pain.

I completely agree with all of this. Its just the follow through that is hard! I am currently going through a I-am-confused-and-want-to-break-up-but-still-want-to-see-you-and-talk relationship and I find it hard as hell to just say no. After this I think I am encouraged to stay strong.

P.S. I love the section
"don't talk about how "difficult" it is to break up with them. If it was that difficult, would you really be breaking up?"

hahaha True!

Oh, and I should add...I hate the "you're making me break up with you" act. I'm sorry my feelings are scaring you, but you are a big kid. You are breaking up with me, so own it.

how do you deal with an ex who stops by your house and calls all the time always talking about the breakup? its been a month and he's always askin if im dating someone else. he'll call and tell me someone saw me walking w/a guy or out hangin out w/guys. do i just stop answering the calls? in the long run i want to be ok w/him. i was very blunt and honest from the beginning so i dont kno why this is still happening. how do i say things w/o sounding like a big B?

My bf did the houdini act.... He moved back to Cali while i was at work.... We met in Nevada, he came here for a job. I rented a room from him off of craigslist until eventually we started dating and i moved upstairs. 8 months later, his job wasnt working out and we were having problems (i started them). The day after our ugliest arguement and a nasty email i wrote, he moved back to cali without telling me. A week later, he drove back to help me move my things in with my parents... It's been a year since he left.. we've been talking/visiting ever since and we also have our own places now, but were not in a labeled relationship... Our communication is waaay better, we've learned to agree to disagree, and try to visit eachother once a month. My family doesnt like him, since he moved out like he did... We dont say I LOVE YOU yet we talk about possibilities for the future and act like a couple... We drive eachother crazy sometimes but we cant go a few days without talking! When is it time to move on or get serious?

some people dare to break up in phone only koz they are cowards enough to face y. NB mostly chicken is mostly violent in breaking up especially if he was wearing the mask of innocence in love relation.

And please add on her birthday too. My ex dumped me on my birthday with absolutely no warning, said he wanted to see what else was out there. Two weeks later he was calling me whining about no one would give him the time of day. Two weeks later I started seeing someone and he carried on like i cheated on him. Two weeks later he came crawling back regretting breaking up with me. Two weeks after that he was dating my best friend, AKA as his cousin's ex girlfriend. Last I heard she dumped him b/c he was clingy stubborn and childish; still needed his mom to take care of him when he had a cold. I was once bitter, now I just laugh.

I think you should break up with someone when you are ready too, even if they are going through a rough time. My ex did not break up with me while my dad had cancer and pretended to care while he moved in with another women in Portland. He should have just left when he start seeing his admin.It would have hurt less then finding out about her.

I was seeing someone I was crazy about, and he just suddenly stopped calling/texting and I was left brokenhearted. Six weeks later he e-mails me and asks why he hasn't heard from me. The nerve. I have decided to forget about him, but I find I just don't have my heart in dating anymore. My heart is still broken.

over the summer, I had a terriable time.. surgery... broken jaw.. lost my jobs and was struggleing with bills. my at the time boyfriend thought it would be best to dump me with all this happening at once. of course his chosen place to dump me was many miles away from home, after he drove me there. I wasnt suposed to drive on all the meds i was on. an yet he left me to fend for myself. and can you beleive he actually thought he could still live with me!! instead i packed all his stuff and threw it off the second floor.

thanks for the article .

yeah my most recent boyfriend pulled the houdini act. Our relationship was so great and we were so in love and he did this over me blowing up over something stupid so he decides to just dissapear out of my life! Guys are just immature and never wabt to face things or deal with anything like us women do. They mess with our emotions so much and leave us feeling so emtpy. This is a good article and I wish men would follow by these rules but unfortunatly most of them dont.

thanks so much for the article ;-)

These are all so true. We need to follow all of these to avoid the awkwardness and the being stupidness. lol!

I would totally call her, does she know you exsist? 1 or 2 times trying to get ahold of him and he hasnt responded is a sign to her. So call her and make sure she knows verbally. thats what i would do.

If it was difficult that difficult to break up, would we be doing it?

Depends on the situation, doesn't it?

I'm in the process of a break up and it's *agonizing.* We both love each other very much and have lived together for two years -- but we have very different communication styles and emotional maturity levels. Different to the point where it's a major point of friction even after months of counseling. While we get along fine when we're just playing and sharing our hobbies and interests, once things get serious and substantive discussions, negotiations, and resolutions need to take place, things can go to hell.

So, yes. Sometimes breaking up is extremely difficult -- but necessary.

Good article. It should mention not to do the whole 'make her break up with you' act. I dated a guy for three months who eventually started pulling away from me: not calling or texting me as much, not wanting to have sex, etc. So finally I confronted him about it. After not hearing from him for four days, he sent me an email ending things because he was too much of a wimp to be direct about it. "Sorry I couldn't make enough time for you." No, you should be sorry that you don't have the cohones to be a man and be honest about why you don't want to see me anymore. At least have the decency to break up with someone properly. That's usually the lasting impression you leave, so why be a jerk about it?

I tried to break up with my bf, but he called in sick to stay home with me to "save" our relationship. He says he really loves me, and sounds convincing, but I find out he creates profiles on dating sites. I know I need to end this, but do I wait for more proof that he's cheating?