I know firsthand. I was a master in negative self-talk and thought. I talk about it here. I shared how I battle between my desire for a stable relationship, but I fall for unavailable men. That's because I didn't think I deserved better. I didn't say it aloud, but I felt I didn't deserve love. And so I didn't receive love.
So, think twice about what you say, and your actions in pursuit of love and happiness. Here are 8 things you say and do that may prevent you from finding love.
1. You Think There Are No Single Men
If you think there are no single men, well, you won't meet any! Instead, you'll meet men who are married, engaged and otherwise committed. So, go out with a different thought process. Think: there are so many single men, I don't know how I will ever choose. That way, you will meet men who are available, and you will have fun while narrowing down the field.
2. You Believe All Men Are Dogs
How many women think that all men are dogs, and even claim it as fact? Too many to count. The thing is: if you believe that all men are players, you create a barrier. You also manifest trust issues in your relationships. So, think: I can trust men with my heart. The men that I meet are respectful and will be honest. 'Cause if you look for poop there will always be a stench.
3. You Don't Go Out
This is a common behavior among single women. They want to meet someone, but they don't socialize. If you don't leave your home, you won't mingle. Get out and explore your city. Accept invitations for networking events and conferences. You don't have to go to a bar to meet someone, but you do have to leave your quarters. If you don't, you may just remain single. That is, unless you get with the UPS man.
Related: 15 ways women are ruining their sex lives
4. You Are Always on Your Phone
This is a bad habit that is easy to change. When you are on your phone and you're out and about, you're not mingling. The message to men is loud and clear: you don't want to be bothered. Put down the iPhone. Stop playing Candy Crush for a moment and look around. Someone may be eager to chat you up and get your number.
5. You Still Long for Your Ex
If you still have feelings for your ex, or even still contact your ex, you are blocking yourself from meeting someone new. Longing for the past only leaves you stuck in the past. You have to start fresh, otherwise the universe will keep you single. Find a way to get over your last relationship. Throw away reminders of that love. Once you open up to new love, you will receive new love.
6. You Say You Do Not Want a Relationship
I used to say I didn't want a relationship. This was my actually my defense mechanism talking. I thought that remaining single would be easier. I wouldn't have to be vulnerable. I wouldn't get attached, so I wouldn't get hurt. If you say you don't want a relationship, you will attract men who just want to play. Take it from me. It is no fun to just play when deep down you want to connect.
7. You Do Not Think You Deserve Love
If you do not think you are worthy of love and respect, you will not receive love or respect. It is that simple. We teach others how to treat us. If we don't believe we deserve amazing treatment, we will settle for less. Sometimes we even fall victim to abusive and destructive relationships. Remember: pain is not love.
8. You Ignore Your Intuition
A woman's intuition is a godsend. If we really tap into it, we can manifest the love and life that we desire and deserve. Stop silencing your inner voice. Know that your negative self-talk stems from fear, not your gut. Your gut will never fail you. Your gut wants you to be happy. If you are in tune with your intuition, you will not only be love but you will also be loved.
Photo source: Flickr Creative Commons
-By Sujeiry Gonzalez