It's probably the worst fear of most of us who are single - being stood up on a date. It leads us to question everything from what's wrong with us to who we are, not to MENTION the havoc it wreaks on our self-esteem. If our date doesn't show up, what does that say about us? And how do we handle it? Do we sit back on the couch with a box of donuts and our cat, weeping into our pillow?
The answer is NO. We don't. If we're stood up, we're going to handle it with grace, we're going to act calm and dignified, and we're going to prove that we're the ones with class - not the person who was too chicken-shit to bother letting us know he wasn't going to make it out to the date.
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Here's how to handle being stood up without turning into a raging lunatic.
1) First and foremost, you need to figure out if you're actually being stood up. We're all so busy these days, it's easy to forget plans with someone, or maybe he got caught up in a meeting and simply got lost in the work. So you need to ascertain whether or not you're being stood up. Anything longer than half an hour late means he's probably not coming - so get out of there with your head high.
2) Find out what happened before jumping to conclusions. There are, as stated above, tons of reasons why someone would "forget" about a date, and that could easily be what happened to you. Rather than wonder about it, mulling over the details and feeling terrible, a simple quick text message or phone call can let you know what the deal is.
3) If he doesn't answer your phone call or your text, it's likely that he's not going to get back to you. Ugh. What a great feeling. But try not to let it make you question yourself or ruin your whole month.
4) Wait it out. Rather than go down a path of negativity - you're a loser, it's your fault, you're unlovable - wait and see if he does respond within a few days.
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5) If you hear zilch from the guy, it's now safe to assume you never will. So it's time to delete his number, erase all emails, do the typical breakup-without-a-real-breakup thing. Get rid of all evidence of his existence. This can help you to feel more in control and less like a big loser.
6) Don't spiral. I'm prone to the shame spiral (about other things), wherein I begin to feel so lousy about myself that it's hard to get off the couch. If I were stood up, that means no one loves me, which means that I'm worthless ... blah blah blah. None of it's true. Being stood up is something that has happened to most of us.
7) Count your blessings one by one. If a dude had the complete LACK of balls to not even bother telling you he wasn't going to make it, chances are he's not worth your time. Which means you dodged a SERIOUS bullet, even if it feels like crap right now.
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8) Be graceful about it. If asked, or if it's brought up, come up with something breezy to say like "it didn't work out," or "he's not my type." There's no reason to be hostile and ugly about the situation - it happened, it's over, best to move on.
Have you ever been stood up? How did you handle it?
Image via gareth1953/Flickr
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