Let's face it, married and attached ladies. We've all occasionally -- maybe even just once, maybe even just for half a millisecond -- wondered what it would be like to have sex with a man besides our husband or SO. Maybe we happen to go to a cocktail party with our man and we're happily chatting when some Channing Tatum lookalike just happens to saunter by in tight jeans and damn look at that -- but, err, I digress.
There's nothing wrong with having a little crush on a member of the opposite sex, even if we're in a relationship. It just means all your parts are working. But when does it go from being a healthy sign of your vajay still being good to go, and being a dangerous sign that you're about to buy a ticket to Cheatville?
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Here are 9 signs you're about to cheat!
Detailed fantasies. It's one thing to think, in passing, almost against our will, "Gee, I wonder what that hot stockboy would be like in prone flat on his back in my boudoir ... " and it's another thing when you've picked out the time, place, and lingerie you're going to wear when you seduce him. Taking your fantasy to the level of daydreams about another man so intense that you forget you're driving or have to change your panties means you're starved for good lovin' and could be at risk of taking your fantasy into reality.
Finding faults. Suddenly you're looking at hubster thinking, "Why can't he dress better? Why doesn't he open the door for me? Why does he have to be such a freakin' slob?" You start picking apart all of the flaws in his character -- flaws you once probably found adorable -- and it could be a sign that you're digging around for excuses to cheat.
Starting fights for no reason. If you find yourself having a bit too much to drink so you can pick a fight with hubby, storm off, enter a bar, and start flirting, I'd say you're longing for the drunken embrace of that hot bar fly with the cool stache.
Contacting old flames. It's one thing to friend your high school boyfriend on FB because you're curious to know what he's up to, and it's another thing to friend because you're curious to know if he still looks good, what his wife looks like, if he's even still married, and if he's happy. Especially if you take that a step further and begin emailing. All ... day ... long. Defriend quickly and get thee to some couples' counseling.
Daydreaming about Christian Grey. Whether it's Christian Grey or some other fictional character -- imagining about how much better life would be once you meet that perfect man in real life is a big red flag for cheating intentions. Not to mention that no one is like that. That's why these guys are fictional. And written by women.
Accusing your husband of cheating. Unless you've got some hard proof he is cheating, this is called "gaslighting." And projection. You start accusing hubby of jonesing for the cashier at Starbucks or flirting with your best friend or god knows what else. This is because your guilty conscience is eating away at you, and you hope if he confesses to some transgression, you can get on with doing your own.
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Dressing up to go -- anywhere. If you're in a relationship yet your concern with your appearance is so intense that you put on false eyelashes to go to the gym or hot pants to hit the feminine hygiene aisle, you're just hoping you'll run into someone who will appreciate your effort.
Hiding your relationship status. Whether you're suddenly telling cute guys that you went running in the park over the weekend (and neglecting to mention that your husband is your running partner) or deliberately "forgetting" to upload pics of hubby Facebook, making yourself seem single to others is a sign that you really want to be.
Coming straight out with it. If you ever find yourself saying, "I'm thinking about cheating," well, you're not lying.
What are some other signs you're about to cheat?
Image via WaltStoneburner/Flickr
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