Being able to satisfy and be satisfied starts with becoming comfortable with your own body. Don't be afraid to dive in and give yourself a little love.
- Sarah Polonsky, BettyConfidential.com
"What's wrong with masturbation? It's sex with someone I love." So said Woody Allen in the classic film Annie Hall. And still, more than thirty years later, we could not agree more. It's telling that Annie herself didn't speak those words - while it's an accepted practice for men to get down and dirty with themselves, women are resistant to self-pleasuring. We're even taught to think that it's naughty. But how will you ever help a man figure out what makes you tick if you don't find out for yourself? It's the 21 st century, ladies! The time has come for those antiquated worries to go the way of the videocassette.
We have entered a new era in which loving yourself (or in this case, giving yourself some love) is where true happiness begins. In fact, scientific findings have proven that masturbation has most likely been practiced since the dawn of mankind. Don't you think it's time you got on board?
After recently telling you what gadgets are essential to spicing up your sex life it seemed all too necessary to take a step back and explore the rudimentary components of self-satisfaction. "Masturbation leads to a greater sense of relaxation and overall well-being as well as self-love. This can enhance one's day-to-day life both physically as well as psychologically," says Dr. Rina Grafstein, P.H.D. and Clinical Psychologist in New York. Here are some methods that will make you more confident in your sex life by night, and put a twinkle in your eye by day.
1. Set the mood with the MEMO Scented Candle ($39.95). Just because you're alone doesn't mean you should skimp on the romance. Seducing yourself is sexier when set to a backdrop of low lights and a flickering flame. This is partially because your pupils dilate, which often goes hand-in-hand with strong sexual arousal. Also, the bouncing shadows provide atmosphere. Warning: be careful of flailing arms and legs that could knock over candles. On the flipside, if you can turn yourself on enough to lose control of your limbs and start knocking things over, you definitely deserve bonus points.
If fire freaks you out scented oils are a good alternative. Nantucket Natural Oils ($2.50 per ounce) are a flame-free way to make your room smell and feel like a sexy oasis. "A pleasant scent helps promote the 'relaxation response,' which makes masturbation more effortless," says Dr. Grafstein. Feeling sexy is all about feeling comfortable, so go for fabulous scented oils that put your mind at ease and your body in the mood.
2. Dress yourself up in something saucy, like the Cara Camisole ($190) from Agent Provacateur.
Slipping into something made of lace and satin when no one is looking can be just as fun as when someone is (and oh-so empowering). Playing dress-up for lovemaking with oneself is not to be scoffed at. Take a few moments to gaze in a full-length mirror, adorned in this sexy frock and soak in your sheer sensuality. "Taking the time to dress for yourself can be a very validating experience and especially important in this hectic day and age. It's finally putting yourself first and giving yourself affection," says Dr. Grafstein. It's not narcissistic, ladies - it's hot!
Read Sexy Lingerie for Every Stage of Your Love Life
3. Fill the bathtub with warm water and Crazy Girl Sexy Body Wash with Pheromones ($13). "Water is extremely calming and relaxes the muscles. This is important to help you achieve orgasm," says Dr. Grafstein. Just imagine what some pheromones could add to a sensual bath. There is nothing more arousing and warming then a silky, sudsy dip in the tub. It soothes, making your solo love expedition part erotic romp, part spa getaway - two of our favorite activities! Once you've given yourself the royal wet treatment, you will be more than ready for next time with a partner. And when that time comes, be sure your man knows how to bathe you properly by showing him these tips from AskMen.
4. Start your one-woman pleasure session off right - with a glass of champagne. It is the sexiest drink of all time, hands down. A flute filled with a bit of bubbly will get you into full self-satisfying mode. Better yet, sip the champagne in the bath for double bubble sexy time trouble. If you're feeling really crafty, whip up a BettyConfidential Bacardi Blitz to set the mood.
5. No masturbation experience is complete without the right personal lubricant. Check out the preservative free, all natural Liquid Goddess ($9.95). We even found it discounted for you on Amazon! It won't become dry or sticky like other lube. Think of it as a luxurious, silky lotion for your precious parts.
Tell us: How often do you "have sex with someone you love"?
Sarah Polonsky is a New York City-based writer and editor. She has contributed to the The New York Post, The National Enquirer, BlackBook, Weight Watchers and too many tabloids and websites to recap.
To read more from BettyConfidential:-
Sexy Spring and Summer Hairstyles
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How to Look Sexier in Bed
- The 6 Sex Toys and Accessories Every Woman Needs
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8 Biggest Sex Myths
