The Sexist Man Alive is looking anything but these days and our resident poet has a theory about it.
- Betty's Poet Laureate, BettyConfidential.comPardon us, Brad, or rather, Mr. Angelina Jolie,
We noticed your sex appeal has been absentee.
We fell for the cowboy hitchhiker in Thelma & Louise,
In that nude scene with Geena you did aim to please.
You became a star, went on to be a true symbol of sex,
In Troy you ran around bare-chested, showing off pecs.
But alas, that was way back when you were top stud,
When Angie wore around her neck Billy Bob's blood.
We get that six kids keep you busy all day and all night,
But no time for a quick shave? That just doesn't seem right.
Also, we do not approve of your recent awards coif,
Are you using too much product? Something is off.
Then there's the issue of your super shiny tuxedo,
You managed to look like both billy goat and guido.
We admire the world saving efforts of team Brangelina,
You're helping out in Haiti, as you did here after Katrina.
Take a cue from a guy whose relief efforts weren't puny,
Your friend who keeps getting hotter: Mr. George Clooney.
You were twice long ago named People's Sexiest Man Alive,
But then came Angie and six kids all around the age of five.
We blame the missus, Brad, your queen of the undead,
She has stolen your essence while ravaging you in bed.
We wonder what if you had instead stayed with Jen,
How would you look now on a scale from one to 10.
Betty's Poet Laureate spends more time than she'd like to admit reclining on her sofa, eating grapes and writing love sonnets to Robert Downey Jr.