I'm 58, and a 26-year-old man I meet with regularly on a professional basis often gets a hard-on when he first sees me or after we've been talking for a while. I know young men get frequent spontaneous erections. Should I just be flattered and assume that I am one of the dozen or so women he sees that day that are attractive to him and make him get hard, or do you think it's more special than that and he really likes/wants me, or is it just a case of spontaneous erections because he's so young? So, how many times per day DOES a 26-year-old get an erection? Is there a difference in frequency between single and married guys in their 20s? Also, can they tell that they have a hard-on without looking? Sometimes I see guys checking the front of their pants as if to see if something has come up. Can't they sense it?
Here's what the guys say:
Straight single guy (Colin): In what professional basis is anyone getting a hard-on? I've had lots of hard-ons in the past as well as a plethora of different occupations, but never have I mixed the two. Sure we get them often -- when we wake up, maybe sitting at our computers, or even dancing -- but most of them stop popping up completely out of nowhere after puberty. Maybe he has something uncontrollable on his mind, but if he hasn't brought it up, you both still remain professional and you don't feel uncomfortable, then you shouldn't bring it up either. He knows its there, we can always tell but sometimes we need to check to make sure you can't.
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Straight Married Guy (Matt): First of all, yes, we can sense it. Hard-ons do not arrive without one noticing (except in sleep). And yes, you know it's there, even without looking. He's probably looking to see if it's noticeable through his pants. I think it's clear that he's attracted to you, but 26 is a little old to be pitching a tent under those circumstances. It happens to all of us during puberty, but tends to wane after that. I find it more than a little strange, but maybe he's just very inexperienced with women and socially awkward -- or who knows: maybe he just really, really, REALLY likes you.
Gay Committed Guy (Terence): To my knowledge, all men regardless of age get frequent hard-ons. Spontaneous erections are no more the domain of 26-year-olds than 45-year-olds. And yes, you are no more than one of a dozen women he sees a day that excite him. Sorry, but a hard-on isn't "special" -- it's a batch of extra blood pumped to the penis. Are you looking for his hard-on to affirm some extra-special feelings toward you? His little ol' penis will get hard if you blindfold him and have a truck driver tickle him in all the right places. Absolutely all men can tell they have a hard-on without looking, the reason a guy checks the front of his pants is to see if YOU can see what he feels popping up. At this point in your life, 26-year-olds are clearly doing your head in. Focus a little less on the what, why and how of hard-ons, and get back to work.
Related: 10 things he's thinking when you're naked
Our "guys" are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week's Straight Single Guy is our former uber-intern, Colin Adamo.
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