Advice from our guy friends. This week they answer the question:
My boyfriend really wants me to have a threeway with him and another girl but I'm not sure. Part of me thinks it'd be fun, but part of me worries what it'd be like in real life: will it make me insanely jealous, will it make me a lesbian, will he expect it all the time? What do you think I should do?
Straight Single Guy (Max): You've never been with a girl, you're in a committed relationship with the guy involved and yet still, you're asking yourself if it's a good idea? Sorry, but no. I think you're just asking for trouble. Now don't get me wrong, I encourage you to have a threesome and I strongly encourage you to experiment with other women but this scenario sounds like a disaster. Threesomes should be casual, safe, and comfortable. This won't be. While he might enjoy watching you with another woman and while I assure you that kissing girls is WAY better than kissing guys (no offense to any that disagree), ask yourself if you actually want to watch him with another woman. If he keeps insisting, you've got a creepy boyfriend. You might want to do something about that. (If you're feeling just as confused as our reader, then you need to read 30 things every woman should know about sex by age 30)
Married Straight Guy (Frederick): I say if you're at all open to it (which it sounds like you are) you should try it. Here's why: Once you're married with kids these kinds of experiences rarely present themselves. Now is the time to do all those crazy things! (Assuming you're young, unmarried and without kids.) Since you're going along with his idea you get to make as many rules as you like. Maybe designate a "safe word" that you can say that communicates "Hey boyfriend, I'm feeling a little weird, pay more attention to me," or a different one that communicates "I'm not into this anymore, get her out of here and cuddle me!" You never know though, you might enjoy it. Women are very soft. It won't make you a lesbian. I don't think he'll expect it all the time but he might see it as your thing for special occasions. Make it is very clear beforehand that your willingness to try it once makes no promises about future episodes.
Video: Have You Ever Had a Threeway?
Gay Committed Guy (Bill): If everyone involved is drunk, then I say dive in (or in your case, dive down). But if you're stone-cold sober...forget it. The hardest part of a three-way is getting the show started. It can be awkward and confusing, more so if you haven't loosened inhibitions with a few cocktails. However, when you are blitzed (within reason), you have much more confidence--and tomorrow you can blame it all on Captain Morgan. And no, I don't think you will all of a sudden discover you love flannel shirts and Ani Difranco. Just try not to take it too seriously...you are just a few kids having some fun! But you should let your man know before the games begin, that you only want to try it this once. Good luck and make sure to choose a hottie!
Our "guys" are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week, they're all a bit shy.
Related: Everything you need to know about threeways.
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